Posted in body, God, pain, Physical, provision, scripture, song, spirit, Spiritual, strength, thankful

My Strength and My Song

Living with pain is not easy. I am distracted with this sciatic pain, encompassing my lower back, right hip, and down my right leg into my foot. Quite a challenge to keep at tasks as well as during down times. “In everything give thanks” the holy scriptures reminds me, even during throbbing, trailing pain.

The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation.” ~ Psalm 118:14

This Monday morning after a weekend drive to Chicagoland and back, my sciatic nerve is in full flare-up. My body is not enjoying car rides even with stops and stretching every two hours. And this October requires weekend travel.

I talk to my body while in the hot shower saying, “You are doing this. You are going to get dressed for work, go to work, and complete your tasks.” Then out of my mouth comes the worship song “You are my strength and my song …” My spirit speaks above my body. If I am in pain, I am not aware while my spirit sings to my mighty God. “You are my strength and my song …” God truly is my strength and the reason for my song. I got through another productive day at work, helped provide delicious meals for 100 people today. Praise to our saving Lord! He provides again for this day!

Posted in children, connection, death, devastation, Family, food, give, God, grace, grandchild, health, help, Holy Spirit, live, love, mountains, need, People, prayer, provision, spirit, Spiritual, water

Need

I had an odd feeling this week; it was kind of like a deja’ vu feeling. But instead of the feeling that I have been somewhere already, it is the feeling that I need to be someplace I have been before. And that need to be somewhere is now, or as soon as I am able. It is a place Dean and I had vacationed at for a 3-day stay while Airbnbing for a 9-day vacation through Tennessee and the Appalachians over 7 years ago. Asheville, North Carolina. We fell in love with the mountains and streams there. I felt a spiritual connection to its people. For my health, it is a locale we considered moving to for milder winters than the St. Louis area. God hasn’t moved us yet. We are needed here in St. Charles, Missouri as a help to our children and grandchildren.

"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." 
~ 1 John 4:16 NLT

Asheville and surrounding counties are one of the hardest hit areas by Hurricane/Tropical Storm Helene over a week ago. Death and devastation for so many. Out of this disastrous storm follows stories of great loss, but also great humanity, sacrifice, love, God’s love seen through His people. The Appalachian people will have months and even years of recovery from this one. The need is calling us.

"Your Father knows what you need even before you ask." 
~ Matthew 6: 8 CEV

This week Dean and I looked over our calendar of commitments, and mid-November is the best time to get to Asheville for a weekend of hurricane relief service. We already booked a place to stay nearby where we stayed 7 years ago. We will keep our eyes peeled and ears open to hear God’s voice on the best organization to be involved with to provide assistance. I hope to be cooking meals. Dean wants to be loading and unloading supplies. We will see what the needs are of the people in Asheville when we get there. Meantime, we will gather bottles of water and toiletry items to take for one of the charitable organizations to distribute.

"In certain ways we are weak, but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don't know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words." 
~ Romans 8:26 CEV

Our God’s Holy Spirit is at work in us. It is with confidence that we can pray because God, Our Father knows what we and those we love need even before we do. The Holy Spirit prays for us. God loves us, so we can come to Him by the grace that He has given just when we need it.

"Let us have confidence, then, and approach God's throne, where there is grace. There we will receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we need it." 
~ Hebrews 4:16 GNT

Posted in barrier, book, boundary, change, feelings, God, heart, Holy Spirit, hurt, listen, memoir, path, prayer, quote, rejection, scripture, season, spirit, Spiritual, time, write

A Turned-Up Hand

“There is a time and place for everything an old saying goes probably based on the holy scripture in Ecclesiastes. I know it is not what you or I want to hear after a turned-up hand shows up in the face. I have had plenty of turned-up hands, rejections, and boundaries set lately. But a boundary set gives me permission to thrive and live within the boundaries God has given me.

“There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens …” Ecclesiastes 3:1

For the time being I have laid aside teaching culinary classes. The continuing education courses at the local community college have made too many changes I am comfortable with. Hence, the boundary set, and I take heed to. I will and have taken opportunities to teach culinary and writing-related workshops to young adults and adults. I am open to more venues to share my love of cooking and writing. In the meantime, God has prepared a time space whereas I can be more available at the senior center. Besides being a culinary professional, I have taken on more training and duties with regards to inventory and ordering at this season.

“I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” ~ Flannery O’Connor 

I have completed the first draft of my memoir. I have two readers combing through proofreading and making edit suggestions. The next steps are a professional editor, then the publisher. I have folks in mind for each of those roles for my first full-length book. There may be a hand turned-up in the process, but those brakes are a barrier that leads me to something better. In the meantime, I completed a 49 haiku challenge, seven haikus written for seven days. It was very therapeutic, and I was able to see my thought and feeling process after a difficult week. Writing does that for me. A green light means “go for it”! I have taken the opportunity to have my haikus printed into a mini book entitled Balancing The Seesaw.

Prayer was a very significant part of my difficult week, too. Relationships hurt sometimes. I was able to give my feelings of rejection to our God, who “knows when I sit and stand … understands my thoughts from afar” as Psalms 139:2 tells me. Are you listening to your own comfort zone? What stop sign have you encountered? What has God laid on your heart? What new path is the Spirit directing you to? There is a season for everything.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time for hate,
a time for war, and a time for peace.

~Ecclesiastes 3: 1 – 8

Posted in age, body, comfort, death, eyes, Family, God, grandparent, health, heaven, Jesus, life, Physical, scripture, spirit, Spiritual, words

Our Bodies Wither

As I age I am more aware of the limitations of my own body. I was never an accomplished athlete, although I played a mean game of tetherball as a kid as well as softball in my youth into my middle adult years. I have been fortunate with fairly good health. So many do not have this. These past few years I also have been made aware of death. Another family member has passed away, not to return to this earthly life but pass onto his heavenly body. Thank God for the eternal salvation he and we have in Christ Jesus!

Aging

Aging came with hard work and active play.

Hands in the dirt, body stooped downward

to grow the trees and flowers to beauty full array.

Age spots, stretch marks, and belly rolls came

with each sunburn, baby, and those homemade recipes.

Hopefully aging with grace into this older woman I became.

These wrinkles do not melt away with the sun.

Unlike the layers of ice on the window

that drip, drip with the warmth of the sun.

Somehow those suntans subtract, then add age.

Camouflaged with lotions and makeup,

those wrinkles became more defined with age.

A gray here and there in my already multi-colored hair.

My first streak of silver looked intentional,

But one streak turned into more streaks to wear.

Bald patches, seasons of stress replaced with fun.

Hair loss eventually replaced with more white,

now volumes pulled up into a messy grandma’s bun.

Waking up in the morning it is harder to move.

House cleaning and plant tending chores

challenge this aging body to keep a groove.

That arthritis causes the joints to painfully inflame.

The irony is to keep moving those joints,

alternatively, idleness will be the ultimate blame.

The eyes grow dimmer, reading glasses to aid.

Fashion aware by the style and color of the lens’ frame

with these circling back around with a 40-year cycle made.

“Grandma glasses”, “grandma jeans”, “grandma bun”, they say.

What does it matter, I learn to comfort dress,

live how I want, with what I want, and with whom I may.

Memories come and go with each passing day.

Past photos capture and poems reflect,

some words said and not said are regrets today.

Other words remembered bringing warmth to the heart.

Like “I love you”, “I do”, “forgive me”, “I forgive you”,

and the wordless, kind gestures play a lasting part.

With you by my side come what may.

We will weather the threatening storms together

even to your last breath and my last day.

No matter who passes on first, the aging body will have its last word.

That word, the hardest will be saying “goodbye”,

Although our ageless spirits live on as promised by God’s word.

Anna Gall ~ January 21, 2024

"O death, where then your victory? Where then your sting? For sin—the sting that causes death—will all be gone; and the law, which reveals our sins, will no longer be our judge. How we thank God for all of this! It is He who makes us victorious through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
~ 1 Corinthians 15:55 - 57
Posted in brother, choice, church, community, creative, day, differences, diversity, faith, Family, feelings, God, hate, Holy Spirit, Jesus, love, neighbor, partial, quote, respect, scripture, sister, spirit, works

This Bird, This Feather, This Love

Have you heard the saying “birds of a feather flock together“? It is the idea that families or people of kindred spirit stay together in one way or another. Other explanations are “People having similar tastes often get together and feel comfortable in each other’s company. It also means that similar people enjoy life together and often gather to exchange ideas” found on https://literarydevices.net/birds-of-a-feather-flock-together/. Here is a poem by Harley White that defines the phrase more …

Birds Of A Feather

Opposites may hold attraction
But lack lasting satisfaction.
Frequently push comes to shove.
In comes hate and out goes love.

Animals in fights and fleeings
Still are mostly social beings.
In a pinch, at end of tether,
Birds of a feather flock together.

Multitudes of furry creatures
Seem alike in lots of features.
Yet that’s not their point of view,
And they vie to prove this true.

Mockingbirds may sing like parrots.
Horses, rabbits crunch on carrots.
Many species act as one
To lark and run in the sun.
But in times of stormy weather,
Birds of a feather flock together.

A family does not necessarily display the birds of a feather concept. Some rarely interact with each other, and when they do it is a competing race, insults slapping the face of a brother or sister, backstabbing, or continuing dysfunctional roles from childhood. This can be blood relatives or in the church family. This attitude filters into work groups, community organizations, and neighborhoods displaying indifference and hatred. Whatever happen to plain respect for another human being who is made in the likeness of God just like you or me? So don’t give me “my family is better than theirs” or “if only they’d be more like me, I’d accept them then.” God made each of us unique and with diversity. Look at our fingerprints. Not one exactly the same. We each are our own person. How creative is our God! God is not partial to one person over another, He loves us with a divine equality. Romans 2:11 says “For there is no partiality with God.” At the end of the day, God still calls each of us to love one another despite our differences and ill feelings. Jesus tells us “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another”. In the 1960’s Fr. Peter Scholtes wrote the lyrics to this song based on John 13:35…

They’ll Know We Are Christians by Our Love

We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit, we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity will one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yeah they’ll know we are Christians by our love

We will work with each other, we will work side by side
We will work with each other, we will work side by side
And we’ll guard each man’s dignity and save each man’s pride
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
Yeah, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.

Love one another is a real challenge some days, but remember we love because He loved us first. “Flock together” today.

Posted in anxious, care, God, heart, listen, Martha, prayer, quote, renew, rest, scripture, serve, silence, solitude, spirit, woman, worry

What Captures My Heart

These retirement days are far from lack of tasks and attention-getting chores. What reels in my attention, keeps my focus, takes my time? What captures my heart? Maybe what I spend time on is where my heart is. The Holy Scripture says it like this …

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~ Matthew 6:21

At times social media and electronics can take too much of my time. Answering emails, deleting emails, Goggle searches, text messages around the clock, catching up on the news online and local television station, word processing recipes for the next culinary class, Words With Friends challenges, etc. Then there are household distractions, a bathroom needing freshening, dishes to get in the dishwasher, laundry to wash, mail to open or pitch in the trash, and bills to pay. There is a place for each of these chores, but I have higher priorities to attend to.

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; renew my life according to Your Word.” ~ Psalms 119:37

Then there is quiet time. What a treasure just sitting, listening to my breathe, closing my eyes to meditate, counting my blessings, praying to my God for my loved ones, and reading His Word. Refreshment for my soul. After all these years, I still find myself busying myself too much to sit down for this quintessential quiet time. “Just do it, Anna, sit down” I tell myself. Like the story of Mary and Martha, Jesus is quoted in saying,

“Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10: 41 & 42

“Martha served … the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume” ~ John 12:2 & 3

Martha is referenced in the gospel of John as well. “Martha served” dinner just before Mary anointed Jesus’ feet. A servant’s heart, Martha had, and I still have today. I need to stop long enough to smell the fragrance of the perfume. Let my “house be filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” And that is the heart of the matter right there.

Posted in change, God, life, listen, live, Mental, mind, old, Physical, purpose, quote, rain, renew, scripture, season, spirit, Spiritual, truth, warm, well, words

Cast Aside The Old Self

You were taught to cast aside the old self of your former way of life that had been corrupted by its captivating desires. You are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self created in God’s image, in the way of uprightness and holiness that belong to the truth.

~ Ephesians 4:22 – 24 ~

Summer had lingered in the plush plants for many a days as it has been unseasonably warm. But now it is finally yielding to Autumn. The hummingbirds have not visited the feeder in well over a week. The sparrows and finches are feeding more often. The blooms yield to berries. I feel the weather is finally changing with the brisk air after the colder rains. Bare feet get covered with my weathered leather moccasins rather than strappy sandals. My denim poncho is needed this evening, so I clothed myself to keep warm. Just as I clothed myself for protection from the cold, so I clothe myself with God’s image as the above scripture tells me.

God’s Words are promises to me, and to you as well. Post-retirement from my full-time career has given me more time to think. I have had days to reflect on where I have been, where I am now, and where I want to go. The mind can go places like self-doubt and questioning God’s purposes. God is faithful with His Word and I am confronted with this scripture Ephesians 4:22 – 24, to renew in the spirit of my mind and dress myself in God’s image which is the Truth. Anything else is a lie. God’s word mentions these words “clothe yourselves” several times. This will be the focus of my subject bible study this autumn season going into winter.

Posted in Ann Voskamp, anxious, authors, body, comfort, compassion, cross, cry, Emotional, fear, God, health, heart, Holy Spirit, insecurity, Jesus, love, mind, pain, passion, People, Physical, prayer, restore, sad, scripture, secure, spirit, Spiritual, trust, woman, worry

Inside My Aching Heart

An ear infection lead me to the urgent care before we left for vacation. My blood pressure was alarmingly high. The urgent care sent a report to my primary care, and she messaged me while on our 2-week vacation to take my blood pressure the next few days, and send her the readings. Still high and some chest discomfort soon after our multi-state road trip, I was in the doctor’s office when I got back to reality. Referred to a cardiologist and more testing, we discovered I have an arrthymtic heart condition. I have premature ventricular contractions (PVCs) that cause echo beats. This Friday I meet with my doctor to discuss what I need to do to take care of my physical heart besides take a beta blocker and lose weight. Questions flood my brain … How did I acquire this condition? When will I feel myself again? Can I return to speed walking as that helps in my weight loss efforts? How long has this arrhythmia been going on? I know I have not felt myself in a long while. I am tired much of the time. Not sleeping well most nights. I have become anxious with my relationships and social settings. I thought that was because of the COVID social distancing for too many days. This learnt introvert does not trust people easily. Trauma does powerful things to one’s mind, body, and soul. I cannot take anxiety meds, as they upset my digestive system so bad, and that causes more anxiety as I worry if I will find a bathroom in time when I go out. I am an insecure woman right now who doesn’t feel or even know if I am loved by those I have been close to over the years. I feel out of rhythm and vulnerable. The ironic thing is my physical heart is going through the same, out of sync and aching. Which came first, my aching physical heart, my stifled emotional heart, or my parched spiritual heart?

I suppose it doesn’t matter which was first. God wants to restore all three. Where do I start? My foundations, the Word of God and prayer. I recall Holy Scriptures that says I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”. In 1 Samuel 16:7 it says “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” King David’s prayer wells inside me into a song … “Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit in me. Cast me not away from thy presence, take not thy Holy Spirit from me, and restore onto me the joy of thy salvation, and renew a right spirit in me.” Psalm 51: 10 -12. I cannot hide from this truth nor the truth inside myself. The truth is I feel unsteady, insecure and timid right now in life. I do not know how long I will feel this way. With God’s help I will come out of this. I need to get my spiritual heart right first.

Author Ann Voskamp so eloquently writes . . .These days feel like a flood of heartache . . . And there’s not one moment God doesn’t feel that with us. “His heart was filled with pain” (Genesis 6:6). God has a heart . . . and it hurts. It hurts with what hurts us. His heart hurts not just with a few drops of ache, not just with a slow drip of sadness—the whole expanse of His heart fills, swells, weighs dark with this storm of pain. God, who hung the stars—He has taken a thread of His heart and tied it to yours. And He didn’t need to, but God tied His heart to yours — so when you feel pain, He fills with pain. Time only continues on in this impossibly suffering world because God Himself is willing to keep suffering the impossible with us. We read the headlines and wonder, lay in our own beds way too late at night & soundlessly cry: If there’s a God who really cares, He’d look at this world and His heart would break. And God looks to the Cross, and says, “My heart did. ”On that Cross, they speared His side and pierced straight into His heart, filled with pain, and it was the water and blood of His broken heart that gushed right out, a flood of love. Grace—it, too, has floods of its own. . . . The way heaven comes down so we can rise. In a world of grief beyond magnitude, what will change us and the world, is the attitude of Beatitudes. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” In a world that doesn’t feel fair — His cruciform love and outstretched arms embrace us — so what we feel is Him. No one knows more than Jesus that this world isn’t fair — and no one loves us to death like Jesus, until everything is fair for forever. In a world of loss — the deeply suffering are deeply touched by the suffering of Christ. We do not weep alone. No matter what happens in this busted-up world in the days ahead, in your own beautiful world: Pray. He listens & He holds. “When you call on Me, when you come & pray to Me, I’ll listen…I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady” Jeremiah 29:12, Isaiah 41:10MSG #TheBrokenWay#WeepingTogether

The physical and emotional heart healings will come . . .

Posted in body, change, choice, community, courage, day, deed, differences, feelings, happy, house, husband, job, lesson, life, live, Mental, mind, neighbor, People, Physical, prayer, purpose, resilience, spirit, Spiritual, strength, thankful, well

What Am I Waiting For?

About every moment of every day the local, national, and world news capture heart-wrenching stories of tragedy and utter chaos. Although the local news stations have been better about bringing the good news, too. Like how a group of teenagers care for the needs of their elderly or home-bound neighbors during this pandemic with meal deliveries, running errands, minor home repairs, and taking out trash. While helping others, these youth are helping themselves by learning new skills, effective communications, and heart lessons from their altruism acts. These kids didn’t wait for something to change, they made the change. We cannot say how long the pandemic will continue to disrupt our lives. But I cannot stand by and wait to see how long. Life goes on. The new normal is established, for now anyway. What am I waiting for? What are you waiting for?

I have gained 90 minutes a day by not commuting to work every weekday. After about 3 months to adjusting to work from home (and loving most aspects of telecommuting), I decided to make another change. “I don’t have time” is not a valid excuse any longer. I downloaded a walking app, and have been doing interval speed walking for the past 10 weeks 5 mornings a week. It has been so liberating! I am up to 4-1/4 miles in 75 minutes, and my speed is about 17-1/2 minutes per mile. I am out of the house 5 days a week doing something wonderful for my body as well as for my mind and spirit. After 6 weeks my blood pressure and glucose have dropped enough to adjust my meds. There is a new saying I have heard through the online weight management program Naturally Slim. “Mind, meet body.” I play these mental gymnastics, talking to my mind, my body, and my spirit. There is a series of thoughts that goes like this: “This is good for you, get out there”, “God, give me strength, protect me for another day”, “foot, knee, you are going to be okay”, “only 5 more minutes of speed walking before cool down, yes!”, “sweaty wet tank top you are getting washed today”, “God, bless that homeless person”, “the birds sound lovely, thank You”, “God, what a beautiful sunrise You have given this morning!”, “oh, what a cute flower pot” … I think you get the picture. My thoughts turn to prayer, thankfulness, and praise every single day. I turned sixty today! My sassy (my hubby says sexy) sixty self is happy I have not stood by and waited any longer for these walking workouts. We are never too old to learn or do something new. Now is the time.

Posted in body, capture, change, courage, day, differences, faith, God, grace, heart, hope, husband, life, light, meditation, night, old, pain, prayer, rest, scripture, silence, solitude, spirit, strength, understand, vision, walk

Clearer Vision

During this week off from the everyday grind, I am present moment many moments of my day, and days plural.  My senses are wide-open.  I hear my husband’s heart beat in the silence.  My vision becomes clearer by the hour in the solitude.  What a difference capturing a subdued vacation dedicated to the rejuvenation of the mind, body, soul, and spirit.  Old thoughts are changed to clearer vision and direction. Faith in my God and myself restored.  Life is punctuated with grace, hope, and love.  Courage and strength for the walk ahead.  I see the path.  One of prayer.  Pray the Word of God.  Meditate and then pray Psalms 119.  Today’s verses 11, 18, & 148 …“I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You … Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in Your law … My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on Your promises.”