Posted in God, grace, husband, job, lesson, meditation, mend, peace, prayer, quote, strife

Peace Or Strife

Ever notice when our President is first sworn in, he may be mildly gray.  By the time his duties are handed over to the next President, he has a full head of gray hairs.  Example: Barack Obama.  For me those wispy gray hairs seem to be coming in each day.  I know the natural aging process causes me to lose stands of hair and my new hair lacks pigment and regenerates gray.  But there are some of those days the grays seem to grow by the minute!  That may be the difference between peace and strife in my life.  Stress multiples hair loss and grays.  Example:  I decided I was going to work a part-time 20-hour a week job on top of my full-time job to put that extra income into my savings since I had not had a salary increase in 6 years but want to retire in 2 years.  Local government work is definitely service to the public, as it does not always serve self well!  Humbling as it is, I could not keep up those new job duties and hours.  My brain was mush working 2 office jobs by that first Friday evening.  I wanted to sleep as soon as I was home every night.  No life in that, or should I say “quality of life” in that!   I was striving.  Lost my peace.  My husband saw by the 2nd evening at my 2nd job I was struggling physically and mentally.  He simply said, “if it is not going to work, it is not going to work.”  No lecture or ultimatum.  Relief.  Grace given, and received.  Lesson learned.  I put in my notice to this new office, and back to square one.

I am praying and seeking God’s plan.  I want to retire from my employee benefits job with the local government at age 60.  Planned to work part-time some place(s) while pursuing my master’s degree in writing.  Tuition is 1/2 price at age 60 at the university of my choice.  I want to teach college students the gift of writing.   My dreams are noble and good, achievable.  Are they God’s plan?  Maybe my timing is off?  Maybe putting off retirement another 2 years to make up for lost income with the salary freeze?  Maybe thinking outside of the box?  Henry Ford made this statement, “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”  Peace is returning with prayer, meditating, gardening,  my husband’s love, and even the midst of chaos this last week at that 2nd job.  God’s provisions are endless.  God continues to mend me with His pure gold.  He has aggrandized me through Jesus Christ!

 

Posted in authors, darkness, daughter, Family, God, house, husband, life, prayer, silence, Spiritual, walk

Silence

“Cobbles rumble when a wave recedes, and thunders break the air in lightning storms.  I call these noises silence …wherever there is stillness there is the still small voice, God’s speaking… the silence is all there is.  It is the alpha and the omega,” writes author, Annie Dillard.  We had a few summer storms this past week.  In the night, awaken to the pitter-patter of raindrops on the window next to my bedside.  Then the thunder claps and echoes in the darkness.  And the silence follows.  Awaken to pray.  Most of the time I know who for and why.  Other times I do not, and await to hear the still small voice.Rain on Screen

My husband and I have downsized our own living space by moving into a 4-room house. Not sure if to call us “minimalists”, but having a smaller home has slowed us down. We are more focused on our relationship, and that was our intent.  More quiet time, more silence than what we have lived the past 4 years while sharing our bigger home with my daughter and her family.  No pets in our new space either, we enjoy the neighbors’ pets during our walks.  Just the Mr. and I, simple or elaborate meals prepared in-house depending on the mood, less eating out.  Projects and chores or snuggling on a love seat watching a classic movie.  And the silence. “Slow living … opens up the prospect of slow love, the most sustaining sort of love … a love that comes of unhurried and focused attention to the simplest things, available to all of us, at any time, should we choose to engage:  family, friendship, food, music, art, books, our bodies, our minds, our souls, and the life that blooms and buzzes all around us … slow love comes out of the quiet hours, out of learning from the silence that is always there when we want it,” writes Dominique Browning, former editor of a major design/decor publication.

We all need the silence.

Posted in authors, book, challenges, change, day, easy going, Family, father, house, lesson, life, mother, People, quote, understand, walk, words

History Lessons

Life evolves, perpetually moving.  Hopefully, forward.  But maybe we would rather live in the past, the good ole’ days?  I dream of the whimsy of unhurried days.  Summer afternoon napping in a hammock under a willow tree.  Leisurely walking the shoreline combing the white sand for a treasured seashell or starfish left behind by the ocean blue waves.  Sunday autumn walks spotting the brightest red leaved tree.  Hot tea and freshly baked scones for a winter snack gathered with my youngsters.  Life is not so easy-going while working full-time hours as a human resources professional.  Commuting, family obligations and responsibilities, bills, and then keeping house for our two homes.  I am sure it is not easy as a carpenter in the summer heat.  Or the 1000 sandwiches prepared for another hungry crowd.  Or the school teacher putting together lesson plans and then teaching them to the 100 & 1 needs of the students you are responsible for.  The disabled or elderly making doctor appointments and their thinning budgets.

Do we really have it all with our careers, 2000 + square-foot homes, high-ticket sports events and concerts, organic foodie plates at $50 per, high-tech computer programs, phone apps, texting, social media posts, networking breakfasts, and so on & so on?  Recent weekends while antiquing for my husband and I’s newly acquired get-away house has prompted history lessons. We ask each other why this piece of furniture or household tool was used back in 1940 or another era.  Think back on those less hurried days, many items make sense.  I better understand my parents’ and grandparents’ generations.  Their tight-fist around the piggy bank,  renovated solid wood tables and reupholstered chairs, no big screen TVs but large radios for the living quarters’ entertainment and news, dishes galore because they did not “go out” to eat, and a plethora of tools to fix that broken whatever.  Maybe life was unhurried because it could not be with the lengthy meal preparations and length of time to repair or build?  Maybe life wasn’t so easy back then.  Maybe it just seems that way, because life is not easy now?  Pioneer author Laura Ingalls Wilder once wrote, “Sometimes I wonder if telephones and motor cars are altogether blessings … When my neighbor gets into her car, it is almost sure to run for twelve to fifteen miles before she can stop it, and that takes it way down the road past me.”  Mrs. Wilder recognized how modernization changed her social connections.  I know it affects mine.

I read non-fiction books and articles to find out who I am or who I want to be (or not be).  Marie Kondo encourages us in her book The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up, “the space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past”.  Such an easy concept, live the now and look to the future rather than the past.  But I would have to challenge those words and their meaning.  I agree with the concept of this book, de-cluttering and making your home or office space functional, becoming a better person.  But the past is why we are who are now, and this will carry to the future.  I rather filter the past, keep the nuggets of wisdom of the past generations, use for guidance.   Learn from and not repeat their mistakes, but I will surely make my own.  That antique end table or butter dish reminds me of past generations’ input into my life, directly or indirectly.  Their legacy, history makes me and you who we are now and what we will become in the days to come.  I ask you to think on someone in your past or from your history lessons.  What is one sentence this person would say to you right now that can effect your today and tomorrow in a positive manner?

Posted in authentic, darkness, day, fear, flower, God, hurt, sad, world, worry

Bloom Over Gloom

Plant Your Own Garden

Sad, hurt, fear, worry.  Sometimes the world seems to surround you with gloom and doom that you can barely breathe.   Take in a bloom or two on your walk today.  Pleasing fragrance.  Eye candy.  Snip one to add to the bud vase on your windowsill.  You don’t have your own flower garden?  Buy a potted daisy or mum for the kitchen.  Subtle power over the stench and ugliness of this world, even on a rainy, dark day where one bad thing after another happens.  Present day.  Be authentic.  No airs.  No plots.  Be true.  To yourself.  Be you, the person God made you before the world taints. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~ Emerson.  Bloom today.

Posted in children, father, forgiveness, friend, gift, God, husband, Jesus, love, mother, quote

Gift

The gift, a friend, a child, a grandchild, your spouse, your parent, or a pet.  Unconditional love.  That is the gift.  Sent from God.  Who in your life represents God’s heart and love?  Who have you shared God’s heart by loving them?  Who needs to know that love?

So happy to know God’s unconditional love, His forgiveness, His Son, Jesus my Redeemer and Savior as our example, role model.  No one else is the Perfect role model.  My Jesus.  Your Jesus, too.

Posted in blessings, challenges, cry, die, differences, friend, God, hurt, joy, laugh, live, pain, strength, worry

The Strength In “Today”

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength,” Corrie Ten Boom is quoted.  What keeps you from enjoying this present moment? Is it worry about meeting bills or a sick loved one?  Too many projects to accomplish in the day, maybe well into those night hours?  If you read carefully the quoted words above, strength is found in “today”.  “Today” is a mighty word.  Literally means “on the day”, “at this day”, “from-day”, “in day” in several languages.  Present day, present moment.

Maybe today is not so good.  In physical pain.  Hurting on the inside.  A relationship needs to be patched of its differences.  Saying “goodbye” to a beloved friend or family pet.  Present moment seems to be a challenge.

These are lyrics by Randy Sparks and made known by John Denver’s voice:

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine

A million tomorrows shall all pass away
‘Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory
I can’t live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
‘Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, today

 Embrace the full of joy of TODAY despite all the rest…God’s blessings are yours always.
Posted in choice, differences, Family, live, love, People, quote, understand

A Feather or Many Flock Together

Birds of A FeatherThe saying “birds of a feather flock together” rings true with many people and under most circumstances. We choose to love and surround ourselves with those like ones self.   Dating sites such as eHarmony and social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter count on us “birds of a feather to flock together”.  But reality is we are so different even among “our own birds, own people”.  You are unique. You may want to have alone time rather than socialize.  Write or read rather than be entertained by the screen.  Fiction versus non-fiction.  Documentary or fantasy movie.  Find just the right blouse at a small second-hand boutique  versus settle for a pricey hot new fashion at the name-brand store.  Choices of foods and drinks are varied.  There are so many choices in our grocery stores and eateries.   That sweet treat is a bowl of fresh organic berries and a dollop of real whipped cream rather than a candy bar.  Are your leafy greens arugula laced with a balsamic vinaigrette or a chopped iceberg salad doused with creamy dressing?   Will you steep a cup of herbal tea then poured over ice for a cool down at the office or run for that iced caramel latte?  Employment at a fast-paced corporate office or slower-paced non-profit?  Full-time or part-time?  Choices of spouse, house, cars, and investments:  loving, dependable, big, small, fast, classic, high-risk, steady …  You fill in with your multiple choice answer.  Now that you see how you are different, I suppose my point is to live and love in understanding because of those differences.

Birds of Many Feathers Tree

Posted in authors, book, comfort, Emotional, faith, Financial, forgiveness, God, happy, husband, Mental, pain, patient, Physical, sad, Spiritual, strength, thankful, weep, woman, words, write

Women, Stories, Faith, and Heart Matters

“Women’s stories matter.  They tell us who we are, they give us places to explore our problems, to try on identities and imagine happy endings.  They entertain us, they divert us, they comfort us when we’re lonely or alone.  Women’s stories matter.  And women matter, too.” ~ Jennifer Weiner

I read many literary pieces authored by famous and not so famous women.  Women have many untold stories, happy, and sad ones, too.  There is a time to share those stories, and other times to be quiet.  A time to work through heart matters in solitude.  Inspirational writer Ann Voskamp asks in her book Be The Gift, “Are the most painful tears the kind no one can see, the kind where your soul weeps alone?”  This is where God meets us, holds us, hugs us, comforts, allowing the tears to flow until no more.  Empty oneself of all.  In the midst of physical pain, mental anguish, sudden illness, chronic health conditions, death, wrongful accusations, troubled relationships, mean co-workers, political wars, poverty, domestic violence, or complete exhaustion, faith has to play a part to get through it.

But also, “faith has to be exercised in the midst of ordinary, down-to-earth living,” writes Elisabeth Elliot.  “Faith without works is dead,” the Holy Scriptures tell us.  “Faith is built out of small acts along the path of life,” Maria Shiver shares in her new book, I’ve Been Thinking … Today, what small act strengthened your faith, your belief in God and His creation?  And that creation is you, too.  Was it surrendering your curse words to thankfulness?  Was it a smile shared with that co-worker who loathes your presence?  Was faith exercised in giving your lunch money to the homeless lady sitting on the bench?  How about when you wrote an encouragement letter to that relative estranged from the family?  The tenth time to patiently point out a grammatical error to the simple-minded teen?  Scrubbing the stains off the wall made by careless guests?  Forgiving the thoughtless comment from your husband?  When you forget another appointment, but reschedule and mark it on your calendar this time?  The lists goes on how we exercise faith in others, God, and ourselves.

We women have stories, and faith to make the stories go on about real heart matters. Heart Key Hole

 

 

Posted in challenges, day, God, life, live, meditation, People, prayer, purpose, secure, thankful, walk

Present Moment

Three or four days of my work week I am able to break away from the St. Louis County benefits office located in the middle of Clayton’s business district where buses, delivery trucks, cars, financial institutions, niche shops, eateries, entrepreneurs, visitors, and government employees blend.  These 1-hour get-aways can include lunch in or out, meditation and prayer at the corner church, possibly a catnap in a quiet loveseat down the hall, and almost always a walk.  Today I brought lunch from home, egg salad made with white bean hummus (yum!) and whole wheat crackers.  Afterwards I took my daily stroll.  I chose to leave my cell phone and water bottle behind, my security usually a tote on my constitutionals.  It is a brisk 50 degrees this cloudy March Friday.  I can survive without H2O for 20 minutes.  And the cell phone, what did I do for the first 4-1/2 decades of my life without one?!
I have my Fitbit on, but do not check it during this short walk.  Besides I have these Clayton blocks memorized, either 3000, 2000, or 1000 steps depending on what direction, destination, and how far I decide to go.  I made a conscious effort to be present moment on today’s walk.  Four blocks north of my office and back.  The church bells chimed louder.  Other pedestrians’ voices and footsteps were clearer.  I was aware of how many people waited at each of the traffic lights with me, what shoes and jacket they wore, and the colors of the vehicles that passed through the intersection before the crosswalk signal switched.  The birds chirped feverishly.  Flowers popped out at me as if I was the sun.
In contrast, I feel the sharp, damp air on my face, hands, and the tops of my feet.  My joints ache, but this provokes me to keep moving these arthritic parts, and not stifle what God has created.  “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I know this clearly.”  Along that thought … What have I been created for these later autumn years of my life?  I think of the human life span as the seasons.  Spring is my childhood.  Summer is my young adult up to mid-life years.  Autumn is my mid-life up to retirement.  And the winter will be retirement and elderly years.  See how the cold, moist air on my arthritic joints brought me to thoughts of my future retirement during this walk?  It is a challenge for this planner and organizer to stay present moment.  Yesterday my heart’s desires bubble up among projects and schedules.  A sketch of the next 5 years came to me.  I have been asking God what am I to do after employee wellness and benefits at the County.  Only 132 weeks until my retirement to be possible.  I give tomorrow’s blueprints to God, my Creator.
Back to present moment … thankful … for this moment to walk, breathe, love, and live fully.