Category: sorrow

Posted in breathe, brother, challenges, comfort, day, death, devastation, Family, feelings, friend, God, grief, heart, help, Holy Spirit, hurt, Jesus, love, need, pain, praise, prayer, scripture, sorrow

The Grief

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

This day before the winter solstice is a cold blustery day. It is colder this afternoon than it was when I was up at 5am this morning. The forecast promises the winter solstice to be the same. The cold wind slaps my face and takes my breath away like the cold-hard fact that my brother is not here on earth any longer.

The grief of it all is too much some days. I went into my boss’ office the other day and had a “good cry”. Just days ago I wrote on my other blog a post about my 65-year-old brother’s untimely death, and how good will come of it. Today, I am thinking, why, God? What good comes from the death of a loved one? And if only Dean or I had been available to take Rick and Joan to the airport, so he wouldn’t have had to clean the snow off their car and have that heart incident the day they arrived back at Lambert Field.

I know I am bargaining now. I cannot reverse what has been done. The “if only” cannot change the outcome. Bargaining is one of the stages of grief. This online resource describes the 5 or 7 stages of grief. These are the basic five: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The seven stages expand on the five: shock/denial, pain/guilt, anger/bargaining, depression, the upward turn, reconstruction/working through, and acceptance/hope.

A friend of ours lost his son and two grandchildren in a fatal car accident on Tuesday. The pain these friends and their family are feeling must be incredibly deep. The wife and mother of the two children, I cannot even fathom where her heart is right now. All I can do is pray, “God, gracious Father, send your Holy Spirit to comfort. Bring each sorrow to a place where a healing salve gently massages the raw, open heart to receive Your Love, Your Words, Your Comfort.”

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
Posted in Christian, color, cross, crown, eyes, faith, God, heart, hurt, invitation, Jesus, king, lesson, listen, Lydia, pain, quote, scripture, sorrow, Spiritual, triumph, woman

Crown of Thorns and Purple Robe

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

“She was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to listen to hear what Paul said.” ~ Acts 16:14

I reflect on our Lord’s final hours. Jesus wore a crown of thorns twisted together by the soldiers who arrested Him, as well as a purple robe.  “King of the Jews” Pilate labeled Him, though the Jews did not claim such. Is He my King of all of me? Is He your King? Why thorns for a crown?  Probably to mock Him and bring Him more physical pain. 

What kind of thorns brought such anguish to Him? Scholars say possibly those thorns were of Jujube, Sarcopoterium, Hawthorns, or Euphorbia milii? Jujube origins are of the Orient, with one legendary tree known as the “Tree of Knowledge”. Thorny, but most likely not crafted into a crown for our Jesus at Golgatha near Jerusalem. Sarcopoterium naturally grows in the Mediterranean, is in the rose family, and thorny. Hawthorns or “thornapple” another member of the rose family, used as a barrier for all animals but grows too far north to be of Jesus’ crown. Euphorbia milii is native to Madagascar; more of southern origins. A sturdy perennial with stout gray thorns and oval leaves. It sprawls with vinelike stems and can grow seven feet in length. Milky poison oozes from inside the vine irritating the skin and eyes. The thorns became another weapon used on our Jesus.

And why a purple robe?  Purple symbolizes wealth, prestige, royalty, and luxury. Again, Jesus became what others needed of Him. That day He became the “King of the Jews”. He was later stripped of that purple cloth. Lydia, a wealthy Gentile woman from Philippi made purple dyes and textiles.  She was the first European convert to Christianity. Like Jesus, Lydia became what others needed of her. She invited Paul and Jesus’ disciples to stay at her home while they ministered to the Philippians. “Lydia challenges us to reflect on our role of being prepared for the moment, seeking something bigger than ourselves, and being willing to invite others to experience what we have experienced,” writes Aimee Laramore. The life of Jesus continues in Lydia, you, and I.

“Generosity is not best experienced in one act or one exchange, but in life-long learning, leading, and loving one another.” ~ Aimee Laramore

Posted in color, die, flower, hope, husband, Jesus, Lazarus, Martha, Mary, prayer, quiet, rain, refresh, renew, rest, restore, scripture, season, silence, sorrow, Spiritual, stillness, words

Spring Getaways

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

My front door now pops with Spring. I found a bargain moss basket as well as dainty greenery and flowers to put inside for the “Welcome” metal art piece. Even a little nest with the florals. The birds had pecked at the wreath I had placed on the door for the past three Springs, looking rather bald on one side. Time for replacing and refreshing with different textures and colors. Is not that what Spring is? Renewal.

“In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, when birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding; sweet lovers love the spring.”

William Shakespeare, As You Like It

It was time for our Spring fling. My husband and I love road trips, short ones and long. This time only 2 hours from home for a town and country weekend away. Spring rains follow us to a Swedish-style hideaway.  Hygge at its best, we find Spring with the frogs’ croaks, bird tweets, flowering plum trees, and tender green sprigs sprouting in the woods.  Using my hooded poncho and Dean the umbrella, we keep somewhat dry walking to the welcoming forsythia-wreathed door. We fiddle with the door code, breathing each other’s space, and finally figure out the magic touch.  Inside a string of lights on a tree and small table lamp greet us this rainy afternoon.  Dean fetches our remaining bags and hung clothes.  I remove my wet poncho and find a hook to hang it on to dry.  My packed throw in our luggage quickly becomes the desired item to snuggle up into after our short excursion in the Spring rain.  Dean joins me on the comfy couch for a short nap until our dinnertime plans.

That perfect weekend leads us to another work week. Taught a spring baking class one evening. I recently trained for a full-time human resources position and felt it not a good fit. The training was meager as well as too different from what my previous experience had been with employee benefits. I had a difficult time retaining the necessary details due to this stressful time, many sleepless nights. A week after I had started this position my daughter and family’s house burned down. And Dean’s mother suffered a stroke that just about killed her last month. More adequate housing arrangements have been made for them.

I spend time in the quiet. Being still. Each day listening to the songbirds outside our cottage home’s windows. Gleaning a word or two in the Holy Scriptures. Praying. This week I think about Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Mary’s belief in Jesus. The miracle, He raised Lazarus, Mary’s and Martha’s brother from the dead. The stench of death did not permeate. Jesus made anew, fresh Life when it seemed hopeless. My Jesus, make fresh Life for my daughter and her family. Make fresh Life for my mother-in-law and father-in-law in their new home setting. Make fresh Life in me.

Posted in anger, daughter, disabled, earth, empty, faith, Family, fear, feelings, gift, God, grandchild, grief, heart, home, house, insecurity, Jesus, life, pain, poverty, prayer, quote, resilience, season, seed, son, sorrow, time, truth, worry

Prayer Like A Lace Shawl

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

Snow has covered the roof tops, grass, leaves, and trees like a lace shawl early this morning. Soft, no harshness with this snowfall. But life has been harsh this past month, like a blizzard. Details to provide for my daughter’s family after their house burned down Christmas night are harsh realities. Life has not been a bed of roses for my daughter most of her life. Disabled with a nerve disorder caused by an error during a disc surgery went undetected for months. Consequently, she has and still suffers with pain most every minute of her day. Every day. Most days she is on top of it, smiles at the days to come. At this bleak season of her life, she lives one day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time while those details are being covered in prayer. Prayer like a lace shawl does not completely cover the substance underneath. You still see glimpses of rawness; although the bare reality by a teaspoon instead of gallons at any given moment. Loss, grief, disbelief, emptiness, doing without, fear, doubt, anger, just surviving, insecurity, faith at times smaller than a mustard seed, coping, resilience rising, moving a finger at a time and then a hand to say “I am alive” are some of the heart’s feelings they share. God completely envelope my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren with Your love this very moment.

In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan;
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain,
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty —
Jesus Christ.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am? —
If I were a Shepherd
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man
I would do my part, —
Yet what I can I give Him, —
Give my heart.

“In this bleak mid-winter” as the Christina Rossetti poem and lyrics go, “yet what I can give Him, give my heart.” As we conclude the Advent season, I resound “I can and will give my heart”. We all must in order to survive this harsh world.

Posted in come, comfort, earth, Emotional, faith, forgiveness, grace, heart, heaven, home, invitation, sorrow, Spiritual

An Invitation

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

Come As You Are is a beautiful invitational hymn by David Crowder…

Come out of sadness
From wherever you’ve been
Come broken-hearted
Let the rescue begin
Come find your mercy
Oh, sinner, come kneel
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh, wanderer come home
You’re not too far

So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are

There’s hope for the hopeless
And all those who’ve strayed
Come sit at the table
Come taste the grace
There’s rest for the weary
Rest that endures
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t cure

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh, wanderer come home
You’re not too far

Lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are
Come as you are
And fall in His arms
Come as you are

There’s joy for the morning
Oh, sinner be still
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal
Earth has no sorrow
That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens
Lay down your shame
All who are broken
Lift up your face
Oh, wanderer come home
You’re not too far

So lay down your hurt
Lay down your heart
Come as you are

Come as you are
Come as you are
Come as you are

Posted in answer, book, care, comfort, fear, feelings, give, glory, God, heart, hospitality, Jesus, king, light, love, prayer, quote, Rejoice, scripture, silence, sorrow, worry

The Silence First

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

I prepare myself this Advent season, Christ’s coming. I quiet my soul this morning. Reading in my daily inspirational book which I neglected a couple of days this past week, “All of man’s miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone,” written by 17th- century philosopher Blaise Pascal. I don’t want to be miserable. Do you? “Silence is God’s first language,” the 16th-century mystic John of the Cross wrote.

“Adventus” is the Latin word that the more modern word “advent” comes from, which means “arrival”. When someone arrives at your house or the office, you usually straighten things up and prepare some details like a meal or documents for your guest to partake or take with them. So we try to be accommodating, showing hospitality to our guests. The Latin meaning for hospitality is “host”. Most essentially, it refers to the relationship between the host and guest.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” ~ Revelation 3:20 

What can I, the host give Jesus, my guest this Advent season? My heart. Jesus just simply wants my heart. And yours. He wants to take residence in my heart and yours. Jesus wants a relationship with you. Open your heart to Jesus, our Messiah, the Lamb of God, the King of Glory. Welcome Him. Silence first. Pray to Him, tell Him your heart. Your sins, worries, fears, tears, sorrows, praises, joys, and dreams. “Leave all your worries with Him, because He cares for you.” ~ 1 Peter 5:7. He is listening, He cares, He comforts, and He answers with His love. “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued to extend faithful love to you.” ~ Jeremiah 31:3

Posted in comfort, darkness, death, Emotional, Family, friend, God, Jesus, life, light, prayer, scripture, silence, sorrow, victory, warm

Warmth During The Bitter Cold

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

I awoke this bitter cold morning to a hush.  Not much stirring inside or outside. Missouri broke record cold temps overnight, a whole 10 degrees this November 12.  Little stirring  in the neighborhood as school was called off and commuters leaving late for work.  An early season snow storm set the whole area in an icy mess late yesterday. Typically I would be in the shower by now, focused on my 9-hour day ahead at the office.  But I was attending the funeral of a colleague who suddenly passed 5 days ago.  I prayed for a blessed day despite needing to say “goodbye” to this friend later this morn.

I was blessed with the song birds coming to the feeder this morning.  Chirping and feasting.  Shadows of the birds, feeder, and perches lingered in the window panes.  The contrast of light and dark resembled life and death.  Guess which one wins?   “He will swallow up death forever.  The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces … But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” ~ Isaiah 25:8 & 1 Corinthians 15:37.  The warmth of the guest bedroom lured me to a nap after the funeral this sunny afternoon.  I awoke knowing my life and my death is in His hands like my friend, his wife, and his son.

Posted in angels, answer, body, challenges, daughter, faith, Family, friend, God, health, hope, live, pain, Physical, prayer, sorrow, strength

Like Gold

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

I have been making “liquid gold” for many years.  Nowadays they call it “bone broth”.  According to online resources “bone broth” was used in ancient Chinese medicine to improve connective tissues, kidney function, and immunity.  I simply roast a whole chicken, turkey breast, or a bone-in beef or pork roast in the slow-cooker on low heat for 10 – 12 hours. Adding a fermented liquid such as wine, beer, kombucha, or vinegar in water helps bring out the bone marrow and collagen from the bones into the simmering liquid in the slow-cooker.  Liquid gold. Good for my physical health. That liquid gold is the base for delicious soups and sauces.

My oldest daughter, Rachel received another type of liquid gold this week.  After many years of prayers, tears, and seeking answers from the conventional medical field.  Her name came up finally after a couple of years on the wait list for a California clinic that uses alternative medical treatments for her disabling conditions.  Rachel is challenged with degenerative disc disease and adhesive arachnoiditis.  She lives in pain constantly.  This past year, Rachel has had physicians tell her “there is nothing I can do for you”.  Faith and hope has been her strength .  Those moments when she lost hope she had friends and family still believing.  Faith has sustained her.  Our God sustains Rachel.  An out-of-state trip orchestrated by God Himself unfolded before our eyes, giving hearts melted, funds gathered, plane tickets ordered, and an appointed physician who prays for each of her patients. Today the neighborhood church bells ring at this noon hour, an angelic sound reminds me of our God’s faithfulness.  Angels continue to watch over my Rachel.

 

Posted in answer, authors, book, courage, creative, empty, God, grace, granddaughter, Hannah, mind, patient, People, quote, scripture, silence, solitude, sorrow, stillness, words, write

Silence Is An Answer, But So Is Speaking Softly

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

Introverts contemplate, in quietness and solitude they create and conclude.  Susan Cain, author of Quiet:  The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking gives an eloquent Ted Talk on this subject.   Go to https://www.quietrev.com/ted-talk/.  She ends this speech for both the introvert and extrovert with “I wish you the courage to speak softly”.   For myself, and many of my loved ones who are introverts, this is for you, too. The photo is my oldest granddaughter in quiet thought near the river a couple of years back.  Now in her junior year with home schooling (not a senior like I wrote a few days ago).  Hannah makes time for solitude, reads, writes, draws, and is creative.  Introvert as it is, she or I do not need a group to follow or hang with.

As an introvert do you ever wonder whether speaking up is worth it?  Arguing never gets far, but even saying a word or two seems to cause trouble. “Silence is an answer too” has some truth.  But silence for too long can be misunderstood, leaves too much room for incorrect conclusions.  “I will watch my ways, lest I sin with my tongue; I will keep a muzzle on my mouth.  Mute and silent before the wicked, I refrain from good things.  But my sorrow increases; my heart smolders within me.  In my sighing a fire blazes up, and I break into speech,” David, the psalmist writes in Psalms 39: 2 – 4.  Silence is broken, passion rises up to spoken words.  For others it is the written word or an art piece.

So what does the word “silence” mean?  According to the online resource https://av1611.com/kjbp/kjv-dictionary/silence.html …

silence
SI’LENCE, n. L. silentium, from sileo, to be still.
1. In a general sense, stillness, or entire absence of sound or noise; as the silence of midnight.
2. In animals, the state of holding the peace; forbearance of speech in man, or of noise in other animals. I was dumb with silence; I held my peace, even from good. Ps 39.
3. Habitual taciturnity; opposed to loquacity.
4. Secrecy. These things were transacted in silence.
5. Stillness; calmness; quiet; cessation of rage, agitation or tumult; as the elements reduced to silence.
6. Absence of mention; oblivion, Eternal silence be their doom. And what most merits fame, in silence hid.
7. Silence, in used elliptically for let there be silence, an injunction to keep silence.
SI’LENCE, v. t.
1. To oblige to hold the peace; to restrain from noise or speaking.
2. To still; to quiet; to restrain; to appease. This would silence all further opposition. These would have silenced their scruples.
3. To stop; as, to silence complaints or clamor.
4. To still; to cause to cease firing; as, to silence guns or a battery.
5. To restrain from preaching by revoking a license to preach; as, to silence a minister of the gospel. The Rev. Thomas Hooker, of Chelmsford in Essex, was silenced for non-conformity.
6. To put an end to; to cause to cease. The question between agriculture and commerce has received a decision which has silenced the rivalships between them.

What words need to go unsaid?   When does the silence need to be broken?  Will I take up the courage to say it softly?  Will you take up the courage to say it softly?  What words do you need to share with your world in 2019?