The Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. ~ John 14:26 NLT
I don’t claim to know everything. I am learning along the way. One fact I know is Jesus is alive today in you and me. The Holy Spirit resides in us. Have you made yourself aware, are you available to hear our God’s promptings? Are you listening? I know there is a higher power watching over the comings and goings of you and me. And that higher power is the Holy Spirit. That same Spirit that raised up Jesus Christ from the dead lives in you and me as Romans 8:11 reminds us. Over 2000 years ago Pentecost Sunday brought the promise that we, too can live with the Holy Spirit’s guidance, comfort, and power.
And if the Spirit of God, who raised up Jesus from the dead, lives in you, he will make your dying bodies live again after you die, by means of this same Holy Spirit living within you. ~ Romans 8:11 TLB
The Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. ~ Romans 20:26 GNT
Some days I feel weak, I feel my hands are tied, my brain fried trying to figure it out, running at full speed, then brake just before hitting a brick wall. When I stop my motions long enough, pray, and listen to our Father God, and do what Jesus would do, then the fruits of the Spirit are evident.
“The Spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control …” ~ Galatians 5:22 – 23.
My front door now pops with Spring. I found a bargain moss basket as well as dainty greenery and flowers to put inside for the “Welcome” metal art piece. Even a little nest with the florals. The birds had pecked at the wreath I had placed on the door for the past three Springs, looking rather bald on one side. Time for replacing and refreshing with different textures and colors. Is not that what Spring is? Renewal.
“In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, when birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding; sweet lovers love the spring.”
It was time for our Spring fling. My husband and I love road trips, short ones and long. This time only 2 hours from home for a town and country weekend away. Spring rains follow us to a Swedish-style hideaway. Hygge at its best, we find Spring with the frogs’ croaks, bird tweets, flowering plum trees, and tender green sprigs sprouting in the woods. Using my hooded poncho and Dean the umbrella, we keep somewhat dry walking to the welcoming forsythia-wreathed door. We fiddle with the door code, breathing each other’s space, and finally figure out the magic touch. Inside a string of lights on a tree and small table lamp greet us this rainy afternoon. Dean fetches our remaining bags and hung clothes. I remove my wet poncho and find a hook to hang it on to dry. My packed throw in our luggage quickly becomes the desired item to snuggle up into after our short excursion in the Spring rain. Dean joins me on the comfy couch for a short nap until our dinnertime plans.
That perfect weekend leads us to another work week. Taught a spring baking class one evening. I recently trained for a full-time human resources position and felt it not a good fit. The training was meager as well as too different from what my previous experience had been with employee benefits. I had a difficult time retaining the necessary details due to this stressful time, many sleepless nights. A week after I had started this position my daughter and family’s house burned down. And Dean’s mother suffered a stroke that just about killed her last month. More adequate housing arrangements have been made for them.
I spend time in the quiet. Being still. Each day listening to the songbirds outside our cottage home’s windows. Gleaning a word or two in the Holy Scriptures. Praying. This week I think about Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. Mary’s belief in Jesus. The miracle, He raised Lazarus, Mary’s and Martha’s brother from the dead. The stench of death did not permeate. Jesus made anew, fresh Life when it seemed hopeless. My Jesus, make fresh Life for my daughter and her family. Make fresh Life for my mother-in-law and father-in-law in their new home setting. Make fresh Life in me.
People ask, “What do you do with your day now that you are retired?” I have always said I will never completely retire. I may not get paid for my labor but will always find a project or two worth working at. I am semi-retired at this time of my life. In June 2021 what I retired from was multi-tasking 5 or 6 days a week. My body and mind had enough, literally my heart and my doctors were telling me to slow down. My employee wellness job with the local government kept me overly busy with 4 or 5 projects at a time, an income not reflecting what I did for over 4,000 employees and 2,500 retirees. Since retirement from full-time work, I ask the Holy Spirit to fill my days with what God deems worth my time, resources, and energy. A person’s value or worth to this world is not based on how much income they bring in. Value is placed on what God says is worthy. I know worth is found through Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins and yours, because of His love for me and you. I believe most people have a “Mary” and a “Martha” side to them. I have been a “Martha” by necessity since 8 years of age and have to allow the “Mary” side to come out more. That is the side where my soul gets refreshed and my writing plays in the script. When I allow myself plenty of time to reflect, the words flow. For me at least one day out of the week, it is a steady stream.
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and upset about many things, when only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:41 & 42
My hobbies of gardening, cooking, crafting, reading and writing provide several projects, but not all at the same time. Each day is different than yesterday. Those daily routines of making the bed, laundry, meals, bills, and quiet time, are consistent. I am attempting to make brisk walks or lap-swims a regular part my life again without making it such a regiment, just a natural flow in my day. I started working a wellness-related job, but just 1 or 2 days a week. That’s enough multi-tasking for me. Developing and teaching culinary classes at the local community college is limited to just 2 or 3 classes a month. This summer I took on work with senior citizens in our community through an organization called Papa. Using an app, I sign up as needs arise, assisting with household chores for 1 or 2 local women in my community during the month. Recently I signed up to bring meals to our pastors twice a month. Then one weekend a month Dean and I rent our vintage home through Airbnb, a good reason for a thorough cleaning before and after the rental weekend. This allows tourists a quaint home to stay in for the weekend while visiting our historic town. I know what I like when Dean & I travel and try to make our home just that for others. We recently have made “super host” status. My newest art craze are button journals. I design those and attempt to sell them through a local hand-craft boutique. And there is our big family with all those social events such as birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries in the mix. So that is the day in the life of this retired Martha, never the same each day. I am not retired from life and enjoy living a Mary life more and more each day.
The first full week in the New Year had me at my primary care and eye doctors for annual check-up appointments, after-the-holidays bargain shopping, two meals out to catch up with friends and family after the holidays and finishing the manuscript of my first poetry chapbook. The second full week, well, did I tell you that COVID continues to be rampant? Apparently so much so that my husband and I finally acquired the virus after it has been around the world a few times the past 2 years. We are thankful that our symptoms thus far have been very minor, like a bad head cold. Naps, more naps, and plenty of hot herbal teas have been our regiments. And of course, quarantining.
Staying home in isolation is not too difficult for me. I am retired from full-time work and have no cooking classes to teach until February. My husband works remotely most days of the week and has been strictly home this past week working quietly between his naps. Our first snow of the year fell this weekend, definitely another excuse to stay indoors. Enjoy watching the birds feed from the window. Reading, writing, and homemade soup making have been my occupations this past 2 weeks. As I go in and out of sleepiness, words ebb and flow like a river stream. Perfect timing to finish my second poetry manuscript, the newest edition of the first but photos are included. Both manuscripts are now submitted to two different publishers.
While words flit in and out of my mind, one word “explore” has stuck with me, and I adopted for my 2022. My New Year’s goal is to explore. So instead of singling on one action in one aspect of life such as losing 20 pounds or exercising 5x times a week, I have an action word to cover the many dimensions of my life. I will explore God’s grace in my life, I will explore new authors and books to read, explore new writing and teaching opportunities, explore healthier recipes, explore antique bargains, explore new plants to grow for garden art projects, and explore new ways to show God’s love to my family and friends. Filmmaker Joss Whedon has said “Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it. Sauté it, whatever. Make.” Create. Make. “Just do it” as Nike coins their brand. So, what is your word for this new year? This 2022 is your year, and mine!
“Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it. Sauté it, whatever. Make.” ~ Joss Whedon
These retirement days are far from lack of tasks and attention-getting chores. What reels in my attention, keeps my focus, takes my time? What captures my heart? Maybe what I spend time on is where my heart is. The Holy Scripture says it like this …
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” ~ Matthew 6:21
At times social media and electronics can take too much of my time. Answering emails, deleting emails, Goggle searches, text messages around the clock, catching up on the news online and local television station, word processing recipes for the next culinary class, Words With Friends challenges, etc. Then there are household distractions, a bathroom needing freshening, dishes to get in the dishwasher, laundry to wash, mail to open or pitch in the trash, and bills to pay. There is a place for each of these chores, but I have higher priorities to attend to.
“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; renew my life according to Your Word.” ~ Psalms 119:37
Then there is quiet time. What a treasure just sitting, listening to my breathe, closing my eyes to meditate, counting my blessings, praying to my God for my loved ones, and reading His Word. Refreshment for my soul. After all these years, I still find myself busying myself too much to sit down for this quintessential quiet time. “Just do it, Anna, sit down” I tell myself. Like the story of Mary and Martha, Jesus is quoted in saying,
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” ~ Luke 10: 41 & 42
“Martha served … the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume” ~ John 12:2 & 3
Martha is referenced in the gospel of John as well. “Martha served” dinner just before Mary anointed Jesus’ feet. A servant’s heart, Martha had, and I still have today. I need to stop long enough to smell the fragrance of the perfume. Let my “house be filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” And that is the heart of the matter right there.
It has been a summer touched by St. Francis, St. Joseph, and St. Ignatius. Their lives still live in God’s people today including in me. A stray puppy became a part of my husband and I’s life one week in August before finding the perfect family to adopt him. After several weeks of packing, donating, moving, repairing, scrubbing, and just plain hard work, we finally put my mother’s villa on the market with the St. Joseph statue buried in the yard. Several willing buyers offered contracts more than what we asked for within 24 hours of being on the market. The closing is in a couple of weeks. Meanwhile, Dean and I have some major household upgrades. We replaced a furnace well over 20 years old, a roof maybe as old, and gutters failing their job even when removing leaves and debris on several occasions this spring and summer. We have had plenty of rain even over the summer. One wall was showing some leakage during a storm prior to the roof and gutters being replaced, so some plaster work will be next. St. Joseph intercedes while God oversees the details.
“Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me.” ~ St. Ignatius of Loyola
I awoke one day singing from my heart the spiritual song, Take, Lord, Receive. I sang all day long, beginning with my shower and while I worked around the house that day. This song is based on the quote above from St. Ignatius, co-founder of the Jesuit teachings and Spiritual Exercises. I knew I was singing this for someone else besides me. A phone call from one of the kids revealed who. But the words welled up in my heart for myself, too. A yielding I need right now. A yielding of my own heart matters. Worry about things I cannot control, anxiety about the future of those I love, and my lack of understanding for some of God’s people placed in my life. Take, Lord, receive. My liberty, my memory, my understanding, my entire will. All I have and call my own … To You, Lord, I return it. Everything is Yours. Do with it what You will. Please Lord, give me only Your love and Your grace, that is enough for me. Amen.”
This summer brought change, several of them. I retired from my full-time job right into culinary day camps to teach, a week of writing camp for myself, multiple family gatherings, grandkids and grand dogs staying over, moving furniture and home goods, and prepping my mother’s villa for the real estate market. Life isn’t rosy even in retirement. I have had some adjustments to my new job demands. My per diem job requires a devotion and creativity to lesson plans, and with timeliness. Making more time for writing is still a challenge. That week away in June to write and recipe development was so nice. Hard to capture those moments in my home, but discipling myself to keep to pen and paper most days. The house still needs repairs, loved ones’ bodies and souls need healing, and more of Jesus in our lives. Good news, my PVCs have subsided. The meds and part-time rather than full-time employment have been key as well as prayers.
Where is life going? It is a question I ask often. I am a planner, but I must rest in God’s plans, not my own. Faith. Trust. In God, not myself or others. While I have launched into this new season, I spent part of July in quiet, just not doing anything some days. In these contemplative hours, I considered where I have been, and then where life is going for my loved ones and I. I cannot dwell here very long as I begin to think things too much, try to figure out God. I simply need to pray, trust that He is caring for me and my loved ones in every minute of our days. “What wings are to a bird, and sails to a ship, so is prayer to the soul,” Corrie Ten Boom has said. Soul, fly and sail through this busy month of August, soar above and through all the unknown and unanswered details with God’s guidance. Father God be with me.
Messages are uttered in so many ways. Bold statements blurted out from the too familiar, boisterous co-worker, stranger on the street, billboard, or TV commercial. The grandchild that pops a question of “aha” magnitude. The Sunday sermon from the pastor or the simple architecture of a chapel set in the woods. The faithful spouse who knows your every fault, but loves you all heart and soul anyway. The quiet utterance of a sunset or springtime walk into fresh sprouts of greens and purples in the woods. The songbird singing his lovely tune to the world. Oh, the shout of that big Texas moon on a spring night! The stone structure or tree still standing despite time and weather. Messages are all around us everyday. Are you listening?
Rain (and snow) are part of a cyclical watering process. This is what we count on to water our gardens and the earth. Sometimes those rains are far and few in between. And other times, we think the infamous ark may come in handy. I spend many minutes that turn into hours attending to plants for pleasure and stress-release. The soil, greens, and flowers’ colors nourish my soul. From these rains nature’s waterfalls and garden fountains flow life-giving water. The birds, squirrels, and deer gather to drink.
I, like the garden, need a drink from the rains to nourish my body and soul. Daily. The droughts last too long. And the floods overwhelm. Author Dan Buettner writes about the COVID crises, “like most hardships, it will materialize as a blessing in the rearview mirror.” I can say this is the case for me. Staying home, working remotely has given me time for my thoughts and soul to collect raindrops; get plenty of sleep, eat healthier, walk daily sometimes two times a day, and to reach out to others in creative ways. “The Lord will always lead you. He will meet the needs of your soul in the dry times and give strength to your body. You will be like a garden that has enough water, like a well of water that never dries up.” ~ Isaiah 58:11 (New Life Version). The hymn Rain Down …
Rain down Rain down Rain down your love on your people Rain down Rain down Rain down your love, God of life
Faithful and true is the Word of our God All of God’s works are so worthy of trust God’s mercy falls on the just and the right Full of God’s love is the earth
Rain down Rain down Rain down your love on your people Rain down Rain down Rain down your love, God of life
We who revere and find hope in our God Live in the kindness and joy of God’s wing God will protect us from darkness and death God will not leave us to starve
Rain down Rain down Rain down your love on your people Rain down Rain down Rain down your love, God of life
God of creation, we long for Your truth You are the water of life that we thirst Grant that Your love and peace touch our hearts All of our hope lies in You.
Rain down Rain down Rain down your love on your people Rain down Rain down Rain down your love, God of life
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
In other words … let go, let God. Easier said than done. And why is that? I will speak for myself. There are times, even some days I am not present moment with God. I think too much. I think I can take this one more thing on, figure it out on my own. God gives us a brain and wants us to use it. It is also Him who gives us the wisdom on how to use it. But sometimes I overstep God. “Here let me do this so it gets done”, like God is not fast enough to answer my prayers or He wants me to do everything but pray. Or “I know what is best”, like I am placing myself better than God! Or how about this one, “doesn’t God hear me?” God is Omnipresent. He hears and knows everything even before I verbally speak the words or know what the need is.
I am writing these words to myself today. A reminder of what I know already, but need to know today as The Truth For Today. There are so many needs within the family as well as the people God has surrounded me with. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”. Serenity means “the state of calm, peaceful, untroubled, and tranquil”. I cannot change the health conditions of my daughters, my sons, my siblings, my cousins, my friends, my colleagues. I am praying for Your comfort and Your healing touch to each of these people on my heart today. There are many, God. My heart is heavy today. Lift this heaviness as I give each of them to You. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Woman Warrior 