Category: life

Posted in anger, daughter, disabled, earth, empty, faith, Family, fear, feelings, gift, God, grandchild, grief, heart, home, house, insecurity, Jesus, life, pain, poverty, prayer, quote, resilience, season, seed, son, sorrow, time, truth, worry

Prayer Like A Lace Shawl

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

Snow has covered the roof tops, grass, leaves, and trees like a lace shawl early this morning. Soft, no harshness with this snowfall. But life has been harsh this past month, like a blizzard. Details to provide for my daughter’s family after their house burned down Christmas night are harsh realities. Life has not been a bed of roses for my daughter most of her life. Disabled with a nerve disorder caused by an error during a disc surgery went undetected for months. Consequently, she has and still suffers with pain most every minute of her day. Every day. Most days she is on top of it, smiles at the days to come. At this bleak season of her life, she lives one day at a time, one hour at a time, and one minute at a time while those details are being covered in prayer. Prayer like a lace shawl does not completely cover the substance underneath. You still see glimpses of rawness; although the bare reality by a teaspoon instead of gallons at any given moment. Loss, grief, disbelief, emptiness, doing without, fear, doubt, anger, just surviving, insecurity, faith at times smaller than a mustard seed, coping, resilience rising, moving a finger at a time and then a hand to say “I am alive” are some of the heart’s feelings they share. God completely envelope my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren with Your love this very moment.

In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan;
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

Our God, heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain,
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty —
Jesus Christ.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am? —
If I were a Shepherd
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man
I would do my part, —
Yet what I can I give Him, —
Give my heart.

“In this bleak mid-winter” as the Christina Rossetti poem and lyrics go, “yet what I can give Him, give my heart.” As we conclude the Advent season, I resound “I can and will give my heart”. We all must in order to survive this harsh world.

Posted in appreciate, cross, fight, forgiveness, hate, life, love, purpose, season, sick, sin

Love Without Ceasing Season

Posted on by deannagreensandgardenart

“Love without ceasing” the Holy Scriptures tell us. But what about all those sicknesses and evil people who bring us unceasing heartache? These chronic illnesses rob their victims of enjoyment in life and life itself, and some hateful people do, too. It’s okay to hate cancer, arachnoiditis, and evildoers. A matter of fact that hate can help us fight for a better life. The challenge is not to get caught up in that hate. “Love covers a multitude of sin” (1 Peter 4:8). Jesus’ perfect love demonstrated on the cross did that and still does that. “Forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). This season in my life, your life is serving a purpose. Keep loving even if it is hard.

"Love without ceasing." 
~ 1 Corinthians 16:14~

	







	
	
	

		Posted in book, children, editor, Emotional, faith, fight, heart, life, mother, prayer, quote, silence, soul, vulnerable, warm, Warrior, woman, words, write, writer		
Wordsmithery
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

It all started with words scribbled in a journal 40 years ago as a young mother, excited and overwhelmed at the same time with my new role as a parent of a little one.  I have kept a journal since.  It is not a locked diary like as a pre-teen, as my words are an open book.  I keep no secrets.  I write my heart and eventually some words come out in blog form, poetry, and short stories.  A few weeks ago, I was contacted by Flapper Press to request an interview for an article in their newsletter.  Included in the interview were three poems I wrote about various topics that have stirred my emotions regarding the basic human need for warmth in the winter, a woman’s vulnerability, and Ukraine’s fight for democracy.   I submitted these to the Flapper Press editor, Annie prior to the interview request.  Read Annie’s write-up for more details. 






Flapper Press






I return to pen and paper or the other form of word processing, a laptop computer as the need arises.  Which is just about daily.  Wordsmithery has become a way of being for me.  Playing “Word With Friends” or Scrabble, daily use of the online dictionary, and reading are all a part of my obsession with words.   As a child my mother would tell me to pick up a book and read.  No one has to encourage me with that anymore.  Now I am a wordsmith by necessity.  “I am a poet and didn’t even know it”.  I believe that is an old saying that has rung true to me as an adult.  This quiet soul has words welling up to share.  Many words.  With prayer and faith let them be His words.





“So give me Words to speak, don’t let my Spirit sleep.”
Aaron Shust

	







	
			

			
				
							
		

	
	

		Posted in age, anxious, art, body, change, community, connection, crazy, creative, Family, garden, God, health, heart, Holy Spirit, home, hospitality, house, Jesus, job, life, listen, live, Martha, Mary, nourish, People, quote, renew, resources, rest, scripture, season, sin, soul, stillness, time, walk, words, works, worry, write, writer		
A Day In A Life Of This Retired Martha
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

People ask, “What do you do with your day now that you are retired?” I have always said I will never completely retire. I may not get paid for my labor but will always find a project or two worth working at. I am semi-retired at this time of my life.  In June 2021 what I retired from was multi-tasking 5 or 6 days a week. My body and mind had enough, literally my heart and my doctors were telling me to slow down. My employee wellness job with the local government kept me overly busy with 4 or 5 projects at a time, an income not reflecting what I did for over 4,000 employees and 2,500 retirees.  Since retirement from full-time work, I ask the Holy Spirit to fill my days with what God deems worth my time, resources, and energy. A person’s value or worth to this world is not based on how much income they bring in. Value is placed on what God says is worthy. I know worth is found through Jesus, who died on the cross for my sins and yours, because of His love for me and you. I believe most people have a “Mary” and a “Martha” side to them. I have been a “Martha” by necessity since 8 years of age and have to allow the “Mary” side to come out more. That is the side where my soul gets refreshed and my writing plays in the script. When I allow myself plenty of time to reflect, the words flow.  For me at least one day out of the week, it is a steady stream.





“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and upset about many things, when only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:41 & 42





My hobbies of gardening, cooking, crafting, reading and writing provide several projects, but not all at the same time. Each day is different than yesterday. Those daily routines of making the bed, laundry, meals, bills, and quiet time, are consistent.  I am attempting to make brisk walks or lap-swims a regular part my life again without making it such a regiment, just a natural flow in my day.  I started working a wellness-related job, but just 1 or 2 days a week. That’s enough multi-tasking for me. Developing and teaching culinary classes at the local community college is limited to just 2 or 3 classes a month. This summer I took on work with senior citizens in our community through an organization called Papa. Using an app, I sign up as needs arise, assisting with household chores for 1 or 2 local women in my community during the month. Recently I signed up to bring meals to our pastors twice a month. Then one weekend a month Dean and I rent our vintage home through Airbnb, a good reason for a thorough cleaning before and after the rental weekend. This allows tourists a quaint home to stay in for the weekend while visiting our historic town.  I know what I like when Dean & I travel and try to make our home just that for others.  We recently have made “super host” status.  My newest art craze are button journals. I design those and attempt to sell them through a local hand-craft boutique.  And there is our big family with all those social events such as birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries in the mix.  So that is the day in the life of this retired Martha, never the same each day.  I am not retired from life and enjoy living a Mary life more and more each day.

	







	
			

			
				
							
		

	
	

		Posted in change, connection, courage, daughter, friend, gift, God, job, lesson, life, love, quote, season, time		
DeJa’Vu
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

Life changes so quickly sometimes.  Change can be good.  Events like moving to another house, accepting a new job, retiring, a death of a loved one or friend, marital status, and welcoming a new baby into the family can dictate who with and how much time and effort is needed to keep up on a relationship. The key is you still need relationships with people who help make you a better person.  Some friendships stick through your lifetime, and others are for a season or two.  Sometimes life circles around, back to old friends and lifestyles.





Time is a figure eight, at its center the city of Deja Vu.”
~ Robert Breault ~





Last week I had dinner with a couple who I went to church with many years ago and worked with the man at the church daycare center when my daughters were in preschool and kindergarten.  That was over 30 years ago!  We had kept tabs from time to time while still attending sister churches, and then through Facebook.  For me FB has been a great avenue to reconnect to old acquaintances and friends.  I wanted to see this lovely couple face-to-face and share some time and encouragement.  I have always been blessed when I speak to these folks just like our time together 30+ years later.





This week I met up with another friend from my tearoom days.  Over 30 years ago I worked with this woman in her tearoom for a season.  We always connect well when we speak on the phone or message each other through FB.  She and her son have painstakingly renovated a portion of an old building into an event venue.  They exposed the beautifully tiled ceiling and wood floors.  Elsberry, the small town that the venue is in is just 30 minutes north of metro St. Louis, and the venue priced so reasonable.  HeritageOnBroadway has openings for your wedding, shower, reunion, and fundraiser event.  Look them up via this link.





This month I gathered courage to take on a very part-time administrative assistant position at a small counseling practice.  As all my jobs, this job has purpose, helping people get the talk therapy they need as well as provides for my daughter’s medical needs.  Before my careers in employee benefits and culinary instruction, and after my tearoom adventures, I worked as an administrative assistant at various places.  Well over thirty years ago at the church and medical/dental offices.  DeJa’Vu. I am here again.  God, what lessons do I still need to learn here?





“Usually we find later that we did good.  Its all about how things will happen if we allow our own inner to steer just like a wrapping for a gift when we realize it’s all been Déjà vu.”
~ Levi Paul Taylor~






	







	
			

			
				
							
		

	
	

		Posted in choice, community, daughter, earth, Family, farmer, friends, gossip, heart, holy, hurt, insecurity, job, karma, kind, life, purpose, rain, refresh, scripture, water, words		
Ebb and Flow
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

Just one word. The right word. The ebb and flow of one right word with its syllables, pronunciation, and perfect timing. It drops into a pool of water, and ripples through wave after wave until it returns to you, refreshing and uplifting. Like that of karma, the spiritual principle of cause and effect.  Holy scriptures tell us, “Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.”





I had an interview today for a half-time position desired with the local library.  I am semi-retired.  The income from this job I seek will assist with my daughter’s medical needs, treatments not covered by insurance. So, plenty of pressure.  After answering their questions, the best I could, the managers asked if I had any questions for them.  I hope my three questions were appropriate.  An old proverb says, “Whoever speaks a word at an opportune time is like apples of gold on beds of silver.”  I am feeling insecure about one question I asked the managers of the local library, whether it was appropriate during this interview.  I asked about security at the library.  Maybe the timing was not appropriate?  I suppose because of my past experiences, this is a concern of mine.  A person never quite gets over assault, extra vigilant anywhere she goes, even at the local library. Apparently, somebody else has been concerned about security at the library because I learned they have a security officer stationed there in the afternoons and evenings to deter possible crime.





The ebb and flow of one wrong word is like a boomerang cutting everything it touches.  It abruptly comes back to you, can cut you like a knife.  Hopefully this is not the case for my question asked at the interview, maybe not the best time and it may have costed my job offer.  But wrong words spoken in gossip are a boomerang, cuts the heart and life of the people who hear the gossip, shredding the relationships of the victim as well as the gossipers.  It destroys families, friends, and communities.  Do not let your words haunt you, hang you, behead you.  Choose words wisely.  If an apology is necessary, make it right while you have today as there are no guarantees for tomorrow.  Let the droplet of a kind word permeate into the souls of those hear it, and the refreshment of that word will return to you wave after wave after wave.  The ebb and flow of one right word.

	







	
			

			
				
							
		

	
	

		Posted in body, brother, church, death, father, grace, grandfather, grief, heaven, Jesus, life, love, mother, peace, Physical, prayer, season, soul, Spiritual		
I Still Love You
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

In darkness, in grief, in despair, or even just in the midst of seasons that never seem to end, we need to make space for pause. 
~ Ann Voskamp





I still love you even though you left so abruptly.  I had even wished it was one of your April’s fool’s jokes.  I wondered that whole day on your favorite holiday if you would send a message or telephone to say, “April’s fools!  It’s all a joke, I am not really dead.”  But not so.  You are dead, or least to this world.  You have passed onto a much happier, freer life now.  How is Heaven, my brother?  





I still love you even though we lived so different lives.  You a bachelor, no family to attend to and I with 6 adult children and 8 grandchildren.  We still shared a love for our beloved mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and our northern friends.  We lived in the same childhood home & family tree farm, made childhood vacation memories.  We shared a love of the great outdoors, you especially with your hunting and fishing; I with my gardening.   It meant the world to me when you came to Dean and I’s greenhouse and brought Grandpa to see our new adventure.





I still love you even though you left without saying those words to me.  You left angry at me and our other siblings.  You wanted no accountability, live life mortgage-free and a life full of cigarettes, alcohol, women, and gambling.  You were writing checks your body could not cash in on anymore.  We all can be a prodigal son at times, get off-course to what really matters.  I know I have in my life.  I had just hoped you would have come around while living on this earth.  But I think you are now with those you loved the most, Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Paula, your soulmate Eileen, and the Lord.  The heavenly reunion was a joyful one, I am sure.





I still love you as you have taught me how to laugh and be unconventional.  I think you will continue to teach me lessons.  I know you were not a churchgoer, but a believer in Jesus Christ.  Despite how many knelt knees and fervent prayers are said, it is by His grace that we are saved and set free.  I have my quiet time almost every morning, but this week I am attending Mass every morning, too.  Not sure how long God has called me to this, but I feel a peace each morning while praying with others and for others.  I did this for various seasons while working in human resources, attended noon Mass at the church a block from my office during some troublesome times and for troubled employees.





“We can love completely what we cannot completely understand.”  ~Norman Maclean





The movie A River Runs Through It reminds me of you.  You are the Brad Pitt character, Paul.  I saw this movie a couple of days before I learned of the news of your passing, and I told Dean “Paul reminds me of Steve.”  The closing words of Norman Maclean’s story, “Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world’s great flood and ran over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops.”  To me that river is the blood of Jesus, running through us, the rocks are us, and some of those rocks just have a little bit more sprinkling of raindrops, the blood of Jesus.  God rest your soul.  I love you, brother Steve.  






	







	
			

			
				
							
		

	
	

		Posted in addiction, care, change, choice, depression, doom, follow, forgiveness, God, grace, hurt, insecurity, Jesus, life, man, pain, repent, sin, sinful woman, strength, truth, woman		
A Fleeting Moment
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

Many of us live for a fleeting moment and pleasure.  I know I have been guilty of such.  We get so wrapped up into this earthly life, some days it is just surviving and other days on top of the world.  Distractions like the idle chasing of butterflies, that bowl of ice cream x 3, another sugary coffee drink, the I-phone or computer screen.  Momentary pleasures of a smoke or two, alcoholic drink of choice, the betting game until you win, another frivolous purchase, or floating high on a mind-altering drug without a care in the world, all these possible addictions mask the cold hard truths of life, pain, and depression.  Like the painting Ship of Fools by Carl Dobsky, our doom may be just a few feet away.














Yesterday’s Gospel reading was about the woman caught in adultery and how Jesus extended grace to her but warned her “sin no more”.  The priest opened the homily with “we all have been caught with the hand in the cookie jar.”  Either by stealing, gossiping, gazing at internet porn, cheating on your taxes, telling untruths, slacking on the job, etc.  The priest brought up an interesting question, what about the man, why was not he brought before judgement like the woman?  The priest suggested that the adulterous man ran faster than the accusers.  Any case he will still stand before God’s judgement.  God looks for a repented heart, that is where you make a round-about change in direction from the wrongdoing.














The grace of God covers our sins when we confess them to Him.  Addictions make it difficult to truly repent, but it is possible by calling on Him for strength.  It is a day-by-day battle, for some minute-by-minute journey.  Insecurities and unmet needs can lead us the wrong direction.  Justifications can set in.  I remember the day many years ago I had to choose what direction I was to take, to continue hanging around bad company, or take a different path with the mocking and ridicule to follow.  I am so happy Jesus led me His Way.  “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life …” (John 14:6) Jesus tells each of us.

	







	
			

			
				
							
		

	
	

		Posted in book, creative, explore, friend, God, grace, health, house, husband, job, life, love, mind, quote, rest, season, sick, words, write, writer		
One Word for 2022
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

The first full week in the New Year had me at my primary care and eye doctors for annual check-up appointments, after-the-holidays bargain shopping, two meals out to catch up with friends and family after the holidays and finishing the manuscript of my first poetry chapbook.  The second full week, well, did I tell you that COVID continues to be rampant?  Apparently so much so that my husband and I finally acquired the virus after it has been around the world a few times the past 2 years.  We are thankful that our symptoms thus far have been very minor, like a bad head cold.  Naps, more naps, and plenty of hot herbal teas have been our regiments.  And of course, quarantining. 





Staying home in isolation is not too difficult for me.  I am retired from full-time work and have no cooking classes to teach until February.  My husband works remotely most days of the week and has been strictly home this past week working quietly between his naps.  Our first snow of the year fell this weekend, definitely another excuse to stay indoors.  Enjoy watching the birds feed from the window.  Reading, writing, and homemade soup making have been my occupations this past 2 weeks.  As I go in and out of sleepiness, words ebb and flow like a river stream.  Perfect timing to finish my second poetry manuscript, the newest edition of the first but photos are included.  Both manuscripts are now submitted to two different publishers.   





While words flit in and out of my mind, one word “explore” has stuck with me, and I adopted for my 2022.  My New Year’s goal is to explore.  So instead of singling on one action in one aspect of life such as losing 20 pounds or exercising 5x times a week, I have an action word to cover the many dimensions of my life.  I will explore God’s grace in my life, I will explore new authors and books to read, explore new writing and teaching opportunities, explore healthier recipes, explore antique bargains, explore new plants to grow for garden art projects, and explore new ways to show God’s love to my family and friends.    Filmmaker Joss Whedon has said “Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it. Sauté it, whatever. Make.”  Create.  Make.  “Just do it” as Nike coins their brand.  So, what is your word for this new year?  This 2022 is your year, and mine!





 
“Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it. Sauté it, whatever. Make.” 
~ Joss Whedon






	







	
	
	

		Posted in change, God, life, listen, live, Mental, mind, old, Physical, purpose, quote, rain, renew, scripture, season, spirit, Spiritual, truth, warm, well, words		
Cast Aside The Old Self
		

			Posted on  by deannagreensandgardenart					

			


	

		

You were taught to cast aside the old self of your former way of life that had been corrupted by its captivating desires. You are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to clothe yourselves with the new self created in God’s image, in the way of uprightness and holiness that belong to the truth.
~ Ephesians 4:22 – 24 ~





Summer had lingered in the plush plants for many a days as it has been unseasonably warm.  But now it is finally yielding to Autumn.  The hummingbirds have not visited the feeder in well over a week.  The sparrows and finches are feeding more often.  The blooms yield to berries.  I feel the weather is finally changing with the brisk air after the colder rains. Bare feet get covered with my weathered leather moccasins rather than strappy sandals.  My denim poncho is needed this evening, so I clothed myself to keep warm.  Just as I clothed myself for protection from the cold, so I clothe myself with God’s image as the above scripture tells me.





God’s Words are promises to me, and to you as well.  Post-retirement from my full-time career has given me more time to think.  I have had days to reflect on where I have been, where I am now, and where I want to go.  The mind can go places like self-doubt and questioning God’s purposes.  God is faithful with His Word and I am confronted with this scripture Ephesians 4:22 – 24, to renew in the spirit of my mind and dress myself in God’s image which is the Truth.  Anything else is a lie.  God’s word mentions these words “clothe yourselves” several times.  This will be the focus of my subject bible study this autumn season going into winter.