Life moves along. One happening leads to another. If I stop long enough, I can hear my breathe and feel my heart ticking. This is what today is. The first day of spring I notice the green leaves budding on the dogwood bush and the neighbor’s cherry tree starting to show pink buds. The fragrance will be heavenly very soon with the cherry blossoms in full bloom. The dogwood trees will be soon after. For today, it feels wonderful to slow down.
I attended a couple of birthday parties these past few days, as well as attended another funeral. Happy celebrations for my 90-year-old father-in-law as well as for our 2-year-old grandson. Another birthday is coming very soon, the birth of my great-grandson. I anticipate a baby gift to be delivered this week, and I am excited to see this special stuffed bunny. As life is, as probably for you as well, we experience a mixed bag of emotions on any given day. I am saddened to know a loved one my age has unexpectantly passed on. Not too long ago it was my brother, but this time a kind friend. Death is so finite here on earth, but there is a promise of eternal life through Jesus.
When all is said and done, I thank our God for the life He gives. Today is the day of salvation. Today is the day to give praise to God. Today I live and have my being. This song comes to mind and I sing the lyrics written by Randy Sparks, which have been sung by many including John Denver.
“Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I’ll taste your strawberries, I’ll drink your sweet wine. A million tomorrows shall all pass away, ere I forget all the joy that is mine today.”
This day before the winter solstice is a cold blustery day. It is colder this afternoon than it was when I was up at 5am this morning. The forecast promises the winter solstice to be the same. The cold wind slaps my face and takes my breath away like the cold-hard fact that my brother is not here on earth any longer.
The grief of it all is too much some days. I went into my boss’ office the other day and had a “good cry”. Just days ago I wrote on my other blog a post about my 65-year-old brother’s untimely death, and how good will come of it. Today, I am thinking, why, God? What good comes from the death of a loved one? And if only Dean or I had been available to take Rick and Joan to the airport, so he wouldn’t have had to clean the snow off their car and have that heart incident the day they arrived back at Lambert Field.
I know I am bargaining now. I cannot reverse what has been done. The “if only” cannot change the outcome. Bargaining is one of the stages of grief. This online resource describes the 5 or 7 stages of grief. These are the basic five: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The seven stages expand on the five: shock/denial, pain/guilt, anger/bargaining, depression, the upward turn, reconstruction/working through, and acceptance/hope.
A friend of ours lost his son and two grandchildren in a fatal car accident on Tuesday. The pain these friends and their family are feeling must be incredibly deep. The wife and mother of the two children, I cannot even fathom where her heart is right now. All I can do is pray, “God, gracious Father, send your Holy Spirit to comfort. Bring each sorrow to a place where a healing salve gently massages the raw, open heart to receive Your Love, Your Words, Your Comfort.”
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
I had an odd feeling this week; it was kind of like a deja’ vu feeling. But instead of the feeling that I have been somewhere already, it is the feeling that I need to be someplace I have been before. And that need to be somewhere is now, or as soon as I am able. It is a place Dean and I had vacationed at for a 3-day stay while Airbnbing for a 9-day vacation through Tennessee and the Appalachians over 7 years ago. Asheville, North Carolina. We fell in love with the mountains and streams there. I felt a spiritual connection to its people. For my health, it is a locale we considered moving to for milder winters than the St. Louis area. God hasn’t moved us yet. We are needed here in St. Charles, Missouri as a help to our children and grandchildren.
"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." ~ 1 John 4:16 NLT
Asheville and surrounding counties are one of the hardest hit areas by Hurricane/Tropical Storm Helene over a week ago. Death and devastation for so many. Out of this disastrous storm follows stories of great loss, but also great humanity, sacrifice, love, God’s love seen through His people. The Appalachian people will have months and even years of recovery from this one. The need is calling us.
"Your Father knows what you need even before you ask." ~ Matthew 6: 8 CEV
This week Dean and I looked over our calendar of commitments, and mid-November is the best time to get to Asheville for a weekend of hurricane relief service. We already booked a place to stay nearby where we stayed 7 years ago. We will keep our eyes peeled and ears open to hear God’s voice on the best organization to be involved with to provide assistance. I hope to be cooking meals. Dean wants to be loading and unloading supplies. We will see what the needs are of the people in Asheville when we get there. Meantime, we will gather bottles of water and toiletry items to take for one of the charitable organizations to distribute.
"In certain ways we are weak, but the Spirit is here to help us. For example, when we don't know what to pray for, the Spirit prays for us in ways that cannot be put into words." ~ Romans 8:26 CEV
Our God’s Holy Spirit is at work in us. It is with confidence that we can pray because God, Our Father knows what we and those we love need even before we do. The Holy Spirit prays for us. God loves us, so we can come to Him by the grace that He has given just when we need it.
"Let us have confidence, then, and approach God's throne, where there is grace. There we will receive mercy and find grace to help us just when we need it." ~ Hebrews 4:16 GNT
What a joyous season we are in! Hallelujah cries are everywhere! The birds. The bunnies. The flowers. The people sing. “Hallelujah” means “giving praise to our God!”
“Let them all praise the name of the Lord! His name is greater than all others; His glory is above earth and heaven!”
Psalms 148:13 GNT
Here is a more in-depth study on this word by author, Dr. Dikkon Eberhart. The famous song “Hallelujah” composed by Leonard Cohen has been sung by many musical artists such as Susan Boyle, Jeff Buckley, and Rufus Wainwright. Sisters, Cassandra and Callahan Star’s version is one of the greatest. The lyrics give the meaning to this spring celebration we call “Easter”.
As I age I am more aware of the limitations of my own body. I was never an accomplished athlete, although I played a mean game of tetherball as a kid as well as softball in my youth into my middle adult years. I have been fortunate with fairly good health. So many do not have this. These past few years I also have been made aware of death. Another family member has passed away, not to return to this earthly life but pass onto his heavenly body. Thank God for the eternal salvation he and we have in Christ Jesus!
Aging
Aging came with hard work and active play.
Hands in the dirt, body stooped downward
to grow the trees and flowers to beauty full array.
Age spots, stretch marks, and belly rolls came
with each sunburn, baby, and those homemade recipes.
Hopefully aging with grace into this older woman I became.
These wrinkles do not melt away with the sun.
Unlike the layers of ice on the window
that drip, drip with the warmth of the sun.
Somehow those suntans subtract, then add age.
Camouflaged with lotions and makeup,
those wrinkles became more defined with age.
A gray here and there in my already multi-colored hair.
My first streak of silver looked intentional,
But one streak turned into more streaks to wear.
Bald patches, seasons of stress replaced with fun.
Hair loss eventually replaced with more white,
now volumes pulled up into a messy grandma’s bun.
Waking up in the morning it is harder to move.
House cleaning and plant tending chores
challenge this aging body to keep a groove.
That arthritis causes the joints to painfully inflame.
The irony is to keep moving those joints,
alternatively, idleness will be the ultimate blame.
The eyes grow dimmer, reading glasses to aid.
Fashion aware by the style and color of the lens’ frame
with these circling back around with a 40-year cycle made.
“Grandma glasses”, “grandma jeans”, “grandma bun”, they say.
What does it matter, I learn to comfort dress,
live how I want, with what I want, and with whom I may.
Memories come and go with each passing day.
Past photos capture and poems reflect,
some words said and not said are regrets today.
Other words remembered bringing warmth to the heart.
Like “I love you”, “I do”, “forgive me”, “I forgive you”,
and the wordless, kind gestures play a lasting part.
With you by my side come what may.
We will weather the threatening storms together
even to your last breath and my last day.
No matter who passes on first, the aging body will have its last word.
That word, the hardest will be saying “goodbye”,
Although our ageless spirits live on as promised by God’s word.
Anna Gall ~ January 21, 2024
"O death, where then your victory? Where then your sting? For sin—the sting that causes death—will all be gone; and the law, which reveals our sins, will no longer be our judge. How we thank God for all of this! It is He who makes us victorious through Jesus Christ our Lord!" ~ 1 Corinthians 15:55 - 57
The word “love” is interwoven in God’s Holy Scriptures approximately 310 times, depending on which version you read. It would be remised to ignore the importance God places on love. Of course, the most referenced is 1 Corinthians 13, “Love is patient, love is kind … love endures all things”. Jesus’ love is the most perfect.
Why do we have a difficult time feeling love towards others or showing acts of love? Or in the reverse, accepting others’ love towards oneself? Some of it is just recognizing the differences between people. A person’s love language can be words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and/or physical touch. Yours might be different than your neighbor’s, spouse’s, sibling’s, parent’s, co-worker’s. Sometimes we don’t give love because we are wrapped up in our own life, being selfish with our time, and don’t want to be inconvenienced. It may be envy or arrogance that stands in the way. Or is it you have been hurt by someone on multiple occasions? You do not want to be set-up again for offense or disappointment another time. Is that person incapable of receiving love? Pray for God to reach them.
Some things are meant to be left undone, so that others God has appointed can carry the torch to the finish line. But does it take sickness and death to know that some things like love are meant to be for now, forever, and always?
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8
What color is your day today? I perused my photos on my cell phone to recall my year. Pink was the pronounced color for this year, with blue a close second. I lost five family members in 2022; two uncles, an aunt, a cousin, and my younger brother. Those were blue days and weeks. The feeling of sadness overwhelmed me at times. But pink, a color synonymous to healthiness, optimism, innocence, and hope overshadowed those days. My hopes are that pink reigns mightily in 2023.
Pink isn’t just a color, it’s an attitude!
Miley Cyrus
I found myself surrounded with clothing in pinks: dusty rose, cerise, salmon, blush champagne, pink lemonade, bubble gum, magenta … scarves, gloves, hats, dresses, blouses, fancy britches, bunny costumes, accessories …
I am lured to chaise lounges, couches, and chairs dressed in pink.
Nature shows off her pink hues … the winter skyline, spring trees, summer blooms, and autumn grasses.
Date nights, anniversaries, holidays, vacations, and entertainment venues staged in magenta and bubblegum pinks with warm sunshine and waterfront breezes bring a renewed glow …
Strawberry lemonade and tea party pink cookies make any day a special occasion …
The grandeur ladies and Mother Nature placed in my life feed my inner child and I gather myself by writing words in poetry, blogs, and short stories…
This last month of the year I decorate our tabletop Christmas tree with vintage Shiny Brite ornaments from my parents’ collection and love the nostalgic greeting cards sparkled with white and pink splendor, those precious childhood memories flood my senses…
Remember the reason for this holiday season … every season … and use that gift God gave you to share with others in 2023.
In darkness, in grief, in despair, or even just in the midst of seasons that never seem to end, we need to make space for pause.
~ Ann Voskamp
I still love you even though you left so abruptly. I had even wished it was one of your April’s fool’s jokes. I wondered that whole day on your favorite holiday if you would send a message or telephone to say, “April’s fools! It’s all a joke, I am not really dead.” But not so. You are dead, or least to this world. You have passed onto a much happier, freer life now. How is Heaven, my brother?
I still love you even though we lived so different lives. You a bachelor, no family to attend to and I with 6 adult children and 8 grandchildren. We still shared a love for our beloved mother, father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and our northern friends. We lived in the same childhood home & family tree farm, made childhood vacation memories. We shared a love of the great outdoors, you especially with your hunting and fishing; I with my gardening. It meant the world to me when you came to Dean and I’s greenhouse and brought Grandpa to see our new adventure.
I still love you even though you left without saying those words to me. You left angry at me and our other siblings. You wanted no accountability, live life mortgage-free and a life full of cigarettes, alcohol, women, and gambling. You were writing checks your body could not cash in on anymore. We all can be a prodigal son at times, get off-course to what really matters. I know I have in my life. I had just hoped you would have come around while living on this earth. But I think you are now with those you loved the most, Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Paula, your soulmate Eileen, and the Lord. The heavenly reunion was a joyful one, I am sure.
I still love you as you have taught me how to laugh and be unconventional. I think you will continue to teach me lessons. I know you were not a churchgoer, but a believer in Jesus Christ. Despite how many knelt knees and fervent prayers are said, it is by His grace that we are saved and set free. I have my quiet time almost every morning, but this week I am attending Mass every morning, too. Not sure how long God has called me to this, but I feel a peace each morning while praying with others and for others. I did this for various seasons while working in human resources, attended noon Mass at the church a block from my office during some troublesome times and for troubled employees.
“We can love completely what we cannot completely understand.” ~Norman Maclean
The movie A River Runs Through It reminds me of you. You are the Brad Pitt character, Paul. I saw this movie a couple of days before I learned of the news of your passing, and I told Dean “Paul reminds me of Steve.” The closing words of Norman Maclean’s story, “Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world’s great flood and ran over rocks from the basement of time. On some of those rocks are timeless raindrops.” To me that river is the blood of Jesus, running through us, the rocks are us, and some of those rocks just have a little bit more sprinkling of raindrops, the blood of Jesus. God rest your soul. I love you, brother Steve.
Ash Wednesday begins the Lent season. This season is to examine where our present life is at, confess wrongdoing, deny self, and look to God our Father, Jesus our Savior, and the Holy Spirit for guidance and follow the calling. What does it mean to deny self? One way is to deny my own needs so another’s needs are met. A healthy marriage requires this regularly. Or deny my urge to lash out on someone who has wronged me or someone I love, but instead pray for them. Another way to deny self is to make a dinner for someone in need rather than spend the afternoon leisure shopping. The Holy Scripture in Matthew 16:24 tells us “If any of you want to come with me, you must forget yourself, carry your cross, and follow me.”
Hand in hand to denying self is the admittance where we have done wrong. We can do this daily, not just on Sundays or holy days, but rather during our regular quiet times, or throughout the day as the Holy Spirit leads. In many Christian faiths there is a prayer called the Confiteor, which we confess during our regular services. This is a good place to start if one needs guidance on how to pray for forgiveness.
“I confess to almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault …”
Following Jesus is not an easy task. Sometimes it is multiple uneasy tasks. “How many times do I forgive my brother?” you may ask. “Seventy times seven” Jesus tells us. “Pray for your enemies.” Jesus also says. “The Son of God suffered unto the death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His,” Christian author and minister George Macdonald is quoted. Have you suffered unto death like Jesus Christ? I am preaching to me as well as to whoever needs to be reminded like myself.
Let this Lent season be a time of reflection, forgiveness, denial of self, prayer, true worship, and good works unto our Lord.
What passion do you have in your life? A passion to write, a passion to travel, a passion to love, or a passion to start or return to a different career, hobby, or relationship? “The word passion comes from Latin root pati-, meaning suffering, or enduring. Thus, compassion means to suffer-with: the compassionate aren’t immune to other people’s pain. And passion is, at its core, a form of pain that demands it be quenched. It’s not for the faint of heart or those who lack patience — which is not the ability to wait, but the ability to suffer,” quoting Vivek Haldar.
My passion to write is so strong that I awake in the middle of the night or the wee hours of a morning with the burning desire to get my thoughts out on paper, either handwriting or typing. This morning is one of those wee hour awakenings. Dean and I’s vacation revealed Jesus in the midst of visits with family and friends and the scenery. Photos along the way captured the crown of thorns, the wooden cross, the blood of Jesus, and the glory of our Risen Lord. Our early springtime travels were in Arkansas and Texas followed by visiting family in Lee’s Summit, MO. On Good Friday we made our drive to Lexington, MO for our 2nd COVID vaccine. Feeling lethargic and achy since Friday I finally succumbed to sleep, awoke to write and back to sleep for a few more hours.
I have a burning desire to share with you the passion, of our Lord Jesus. Because of what Jesus suffered on the Cross, we can have co-passion or compassion. He made the ultimate sacrifice for you and I. He loved us so much, that he suffered death on the Cross. God’s love is experienced through Jesus Christ. “How great is the love the Father lavished on us that we should be called children of God … This is how God showed his love among us. He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love; not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” ~ 1 John 3:1 and 4: 9 & 10. It is Jesus, and Jesus alone why I can say “God loves me” and “God loves you”. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid His life for us,” the Holy Scriptures tell us. Jesus won the battle, even death on the cross could not hold Him back. Jesus is alive today! Accept Jesus’ love into your hearts today! Thank You, Jesus for this gift of love shared with each and every one of us this Easter Day!
Woman Warrior 