Life evolves, perpetually moving. Hopefully, forward. But maybe we would rather live in the past, the good ole’ days? I dream of the whimsy of unhurried days. Summer afternoon napping in a hammock under a willow tree. Leisurely walking the shoreline combing the white sand for a treasured seashell or starfish left behind by the ocean blue waves. Sunday autumn walks spotting the brightest red leaved tree. Hot tea and freshly baked scones for a winter snack gathered with my youngsters. Life is not so easy-going while working full-time hours as a human resources professional. Commuting, family obligations and responsibilities, bills, and then keeping house for our two homes. I am sure it is not easy as a carpenter in the summer heat. Or the 1000 sandwiches prepared for another hungry crowd. Or the school teacher putting together lesson plans and then teaching them to the 100 & 1 needs of the students you are responsible for. The disabled or elderly making doctor appointments and their thinning budgets.
Do we really have it all with our careers, 2000 + square-foot homes, high-ticket sports events and concerts, organic foodie plates at $50 per, high-tech computer programs, phone apps, texting, social media posts, networking breakfasts, and so on & so on? Recent weekends while antiquing for my husband and I’s newly acquired get-away house has prompted history lessons. We ask each other why this piece of furniture or household tool was used back in 1940 or another era. Think back on those less hurried days, many items make sense. I better understand my parents’ and grandparents’ generations. Their tight-fist around the piggy bank, renovated solid wood tables and reupholstered chairs, no big screen TVs but large radios for the living quarters’ entertainment and news, dishes galore because they did not “go out” to eat, and a plethora of tools to fix that broken whatever. Maybe life was unhurried because it could not be with the lengthy meal preparations and length of time to repair or build? Maybe life wasn’t so easy back then. Maybe it just seems that way, because life is not easy now? Pioneer author Laura Ingalls Wilder once wrote, “Sometimes I wonder if telephones and motor cars are altogether blessings … When my neighbor gets into her car, it is almost sure to run for twelve to fifteen miles before she can stop it, and that takes it way down the road past me.” Mrs. Wilder recognized how modernization changed her social connections. I know it affects mine.
I read non-fiction books and articles to find out who I am or who I want to be (or not be). Marie Kondo encourages us in her book The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up, “the space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past”. Such an easy concept, live the now and look to the future rather than the past. But I would have to challenge those words and their meaning. I agree with the concept of this book, de-cluttering and making your home or office space functional, becoming a better person. But the past is why we are who are now, and this will carry to the future. I rather filter the past, keep the nuggets of wisdom of the past generations, use for guidance. Learn from and not repeat their mistakes, but I will surely make my own. That antique end table or butter dish reminds me of past generations’ input into my life, directly or indirectly. Their legacy, history makes me and you who we are now and what we will become in the days to come. I ask you to think on someone in your past or from your history lessons. What is one sentence this person would say to you right now that can effect your today and tomorrow in a positive manner?
The saying “birds of a feather flock together” rings true with many people and under most circumstances. We choose to love and surround ourselves with those like ones self. Dating sites such as eHarmony and social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter count on us “birds of a feather to flock together”. But reality is we are so different even among “our own birds, own people”. You are unique. You may want to have alone time rather than socialize. Write or read rather than be entertained by the screen. Fiction versus non-fiction. Documentary or fantasy movie. Find just the right blouse at a small second-hand boutique versus settle for a pricey hot new fashion at the name-brand store. Choices of foods and drinks are varied. There are so many choices in our grocery stores and eateries. That sweet treat is a bowl of fresh organic berries and a dollop of real whipped cream rather than a candy bar. Are your leafy greens arugula laced with a balsamic vinaigrette or a chopped iceberg salad doused with creamy dressing? Will you steep a cup of herbal tea then poured over ice for a cool down at the office or run for that iced caramel latte? Employment at a fast-paced corporate office or slower-paced non-profit? Full-time or part-time? Choices of spouse, house, cars, and investments: loving, dependable, big, small, fast, classic, high-risk, steady … You fill in with your multiple choice answer. Now that you see how you are different, I suppose my point is to live and love in understanding because of those differences.
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Woman Warrior 